


Tug of War

by TheAfterglow



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Allusions to Stormpilot, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Angst, Cabins, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cunnilingus in Canoes, Equestrian, F/M, Fluff, He was a gentleman, Hiking, Oh shit now feelz, Oral Sex, Ponies are Assholes, Showers, Skinny Dipping, Summer Camp, Summer Romance, Tropey as hell, We're just warming up here, Yoga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-15 23:06:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9262703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAfterglow/pseuds/TheAfterglow
Summary: After nearly three weeks at camp, Rey thought she knew all the other counselors.It turned out she was wrong.“I thought…” Rey said, “That counselors weren’t supposed to associate with one another.”“We’re… not,” Kylo replied. “But it only counts when camp is in session. You have to…” He trailed off as his free hand slipped beneath the water to grasp her slender waist. “Read between the lines.”





	1. June

**Author's Note:**

> You guys, I am such trash. I thought I'd work on some original work after I finished _Right When I Arrive_... Then I immediately thought of this. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Think... _Wet Hot American Summer_ meets _Dirty Dancing_ meets TFA.
> 
> Also, ponies are assholes. For realsies. Horses are much better. :D

“More soup, siiiiir?”

The girls ahead of Rey in line giggled maniacally as they parroted her accent to the hair-netted women serving them in the mess hall.

“More soup, pleeeeease?” They dragged out the vowels in the third word of each phrase to a ridiculous degree, until they ran out of air and had to take great gulping breaths before laughing to the point of doubling over.

“Seriously, I could kill you for telling them about Oliver Twist,” Rey muttered under her breath to Jessika as they pushed their trays along the service line.

“I thought they’d get over it by now!” Her roommate shook her head ruefully.

 _Sorry_ , she mouthed to one of the servers with a slight tilt of her head towards the girls. She was silently rewarded with a dripping spoonful of noodles ‘n sauce in one compartment of her tray.

Rey sighed and stared at the wiggly array of gelatin desserts sweating on the counter. “What flavor today? Lime? Or orange?”

Jessika gave a fake shudder that hiked her shoulders up to her ears. “I don’t know how you can eat that stuff. Neither, please.”

Rey shook her head. “You don’t know what you’re missing. Orange is the best flavor by far.”

They ate in relative silence as their charges traded canned pears and sucked fat spaghetti noodles into their mouths, leaving them ringed with a greasy orange-red patina of tomato sauce. It was already Wednesday in the second week of camp for this group, and each table in the mess had gone from sitting politely to a riot of shrieks and laughter, their initial coolness towards one another having evaporated in a haze of mosquito bites, smores, and late-night ghost stories.

Rey ate slowly, staring idly at the ceiling fans high in the peaked, knotty pine roof that did little to dispel the stale, humid heat that lingered in all the buildings. She felt the dampness under her arms in her counselor’s polo, on the back of her neck under her braid, and in how the tendrils of hair at her temples stuck to the edge of her cheek ahead of her ear. She was very aware of the horsey smell emanating from her jeans, which clung to her legs wetly. She cut her canned pear with the side of her fork, pausing with it against her lips without taking it into her mouth. It was slightly cooler than the room.

She surveyed the tables: fourteen total, seven groups of boys and seven of girls. They were deliberately seated alternating gender by table to enforce some sort of diversity, but trying to make a hundred-forty ten, eleven and twelve-year olds fraternize was a pipe dream. The girls were noticeably taller and more mature than the boys at this age. Most of them were anywhere from a few inches to an entire head taller than the boys, and a more than a few were beginning to develop breasts. Rey had caught a couple in their cabin sneakily stowing forbidden make-up items in their bathroom cubbies as they’d moved in.

The boys, on the other hand, were still mostly skinny, wiry, and definitely not interested in whatever nascent attentions the girls paid them. The lure of the great outdoors was too great to bother with the opposite sex right now.

Rey gazed at a table of boys to her right, two rows away in the corner of the room. She recognized most of the other counselors by sight after three weeks onsite, and she knew that cabin was Hux’s by the skinny, pale, freckled leg she saw protruding amongst the grubby sneakers and sandals beneath the folding table. Hux was wearing one of his many pairs of crisp looking shorts with his staff shirt tucked tightly in at the waist. Rey had to suppress a smile to see the seashells that were embroidered all over the material of his bottoms.

She couldn’t see the other counselor for that cabin until he rose from the far end of the table to return his tray, and she realized she hadn’t seen him before.

“Jess,” she elbowed her friend. “Who is that guy?”

“Who?” Jessika was distracted with helping one of their campers cut her pear.

“That…. guy,” Rey flicked her eyes towards him where he ambled towards the tray return window. He wasn’t wearing their regulation staff polo, just a loose-fitting black t-shirt that wasn’t tucked into his jeans. Even from across the room, Rey could see he was quite tall. He towered over the tables of seated campers despite hunching very slightly. His black, wavy hair was curling in the humidity at the nape of his neck. He bent down to deposit his tray in the opening, stopping to chat with the dishwasher for a moment.

“Oh,” Jessika replied when she saw him. “His name is... Kyle, I think? He was here last summer, too. He leads the wilderness camping group, so he’s almost never here. They hike out the Monday after the campers arrive, and come back the Wednesday before they leave, in time for Field Day.”

“Oh,” Rey repeated, nodding. She was still staring at his rear where he bent to the return window when he turned suddenly and straightened, looking right at her.

They made eye contact for a split second before her pear became the most interesting thing Rey had ever seen. When she glanced back up, he was still looking at her while he walked back to his group’s table. He looked slightly angry for some reason.

Rey could feel her blush even under her tan, the sheen of sweat and the layer of dirt from the riding arena that coated her cheeks. She laid down her fork, the bite of pear still speared on it, and bit her lips.

“Are you alright?” She could hear Jessika’s smile in her question. “You are as red as a beet.”

“I, uh…” Rey stammered and shook her head slightly. “I’m going to go for a short walk, okay? I’ll meet you at the barn?” She stood abruptly and gathered her utensils and napkin, taking the circuitous, long way through the mess to avoid walking by his table. When she turned from the tray return, she ventured a look in the corner.

He was seated once more at his cabin’s table, his fingers laced together over his head, elbows jutting out in a wide V on each side of his head.

He was still looking right at her. She froze in her tracks, once more feeling her cheeks glowing. He stared at her, and then his gaze trailed up and down her frame once, almost lazily. His lips moved in a way that struck Rey as smug.   
  
Rey sucked in a quick breath and darted out the open side door, pounded down the stairs and set off down the dirt path towards the stable.

* * *

 

Rey paced a slow track in the sand behind her charges in the blistering heat. It was nearly the end of this session, and she’d set up a short obstacle course for them to complete one-by-one. She walked behind the ponies, careful to make a wide berth behind the tiny palomino mare with a red ribbon tied to her tail-- a kicker-- and rounded the line to stand in front of them on her wooden box once more.

“Alright,” she said evenly. “That was fine, but I know you can all do better. I want each of you to ride the line once more, and think, really think, about what you’re doing this time. Remember, you’re in charge, not your pony. Make him go where you want.” She looked up and down the line. A few of them looked crestfallen at her assessment, others defiant. She had to suppress her smile at how malleable they were. “Becky, go ahead.”

The reedy, redheaded girl at the end of the line urged her mount forwards with a few clucks and the black-and-white paint pony broke into a lazy trot as they circled around the end of the course.

“More leg!” Rey called. “Oreo is half-asleep! Give him a kick!”

The pony meandered towards the poles she’d placed on the ground, barely picking up his hooves enough to clear the wooden obstacles and even striking one as he stumbled his way through the course. The girl set her lips in a determined line and gave the pony the gentlest of bumps with her heels. It perked him up enough that he managed the small jump without striking it and they rounded the barrel she’d placed at the end without falling into a walk.

One by one, they took their turns as Rey shouted pointers. She could tell the ponies were done by the way they cocked their rear ends, resting their weight on one hoof and how their ears lolled to the sides. Some of them were even dozing with their riders on them as they waited to take their turns.    

Honestly, _she_ was done. She felt overheated, sticky, and like nothing more than lying on her bunk with the fan blowing over her. Clothing was optional.   

“Good!” she shouted, “Keep your hands still, you’re hitting him in the mouth!” She pivoted on her heel as the next-to-last rider worked their way through the course. It was then that she saw him, standing silently at the fence of the arena. She scowled for a split-second in his direction before returning her attentions to the last rider.

It was impossible not to feel scrutinized, but this was Rey’s turf. She would not let herself be intimidated by his hulking presence.

She straightened up, clasped her hands behind her back the way she remembered her riding masters doing, and watched the final rider maneuver through the course.

“Better, Mila!” She encouraged this last one, a small-for-her-age girl with a shock of curly, dark hair poking out from beneath her helmet. “Look where you’re going! Eyes up!”

The girl’s pony balked at the rail, and for a sickening split second, Rey thought she might tumble off forwards over the pony’s shoulder. But to her surprise, Mila gritted her teeth, gave the pony a sharp kick in the ribs, and he popped over the jump as though he’d been unexpectedly goosed.

“Nice!” she praised her, “Good recovery!”

She made a conscious effort not to glance at the man where he stood at the fence as she gave her final assessment for the day. His booted foot was propped up on the lowest rail and his hands loosely folded over the top. He’d changed from his jeans and was now wearing shorts, exposing a long stretch of pale but well-muscled leg above his hiking socks.

She dismissed the group with a stern warning to make sure their ponies were cooled out properly before releasing them to the field for the night. The last thing she needed was a colicky pony to keep her up all night walking it.

“Use the hose if you need to,” Rey instructed the group. “Make sure you walk them until they’re fully cool. I don’t want to see anyone’s pony out in the field before 4:30 PM, alright?” She glanced at her watch for emphasis. It was only 3:45. There were still hours of daylight left until sun set at 8:15.

The riders began chattering as they ran their stirrups up and Rey helped a few of the smaller kids get their reins back over their pony’s head to lead them out of the paddock to the converted dairy barn.

Once the last rider had left the arena, she latched the gate carefully and turned towards the man. He still had his foot propped up, but he’d turned towards her now, holding the top rail on one massive hand.

She approached him slowly, feeling suddenly nervous. It felt late to just be meeting another staff member, and she wondered how he’d avoided the orientation the rest of them had been subjected to the weekend before last. The first ten-day camp session was nearly over already.

“Hi,” she said expectantly. “I’m Rey.”

“I see that,” he said, eyes flicking down to her chest. She raised one eyebrow at his boldness, until she realized he was merely reading what was embroidered on her shirt pocket.

_Camp O-K!_

_Rey_

“And you are…?”

He thrust his free hand forwards to shake hers. “Kylo.”

“Kylo,” she repeated. “I’ve never heard that name before.”

“I’m pretty sure my folks made it up,” Kylo smiled at her, his eyes crinkling at the corners and his mouth quirking under his beard. Now that she was up close, she could tell he was considerably older than her. Than… most of the other counselors. “You’re new this year?”

“Yep,” she confirmed, shoving her hands in the back pocket of her jeans. She was suddenly self-conscious of how filthy her hands were from spending the day in the barn. “Jessika’s my roommate at university-- she twisted my arm until I applied.”

“Well,” Kylo nodded, looking at the dusty toes of her boots. “You seem about a hundred times better than the last riding teacher we had. The kids respond well to you.”

“Thanks,” Rey shaded her eyes with her hand. “Um, I should be supervising them in the barn. They get a little lackadaisical at the end of the day, I’ve noticed.”

“Oh, right!” Kylo straightened up. “I just came down to get Milo-- he’s one of ours.”

They stood awkwardly for a moment, and Rey realized he had no intention of leaving. She turned on her heel and walked towards the barn with him trailing behind her. They were halfway across the green when he said, “You’re English?”

She turned back and walked a few steps backwards, looking at him. She felt like she was being trailed by a very large puppy.

“Yes,” was all she said, then she turned forwards again.

They walked a few more steps before he remarked, “Mila and Milo are twins.”

“I know,” Rey called over her shoulder. The children had made a point of telling her so their first day of class. Twice.

Kylo leaned against the door of the barn and surveyed the scene silently as Rey bustled around, keeping after the tired, over-warm children to take care of their mounts before themselves. When she returned from directing their antics with hosing down the ponies outside, she was surprised to find the bridles and saddles hung correctly on their pegs in the tack room. He was seated on a bale of straw, reading a dog-eared paperback with its spine bent backwards.

“Did you put these away?” She pointed into the door of the tack room.

“No, they hung themselves up,” Kylo said with a straight face.

She stared at him for a moment before a smile broke out across her face. “How did you know where they go?”

He straightened up from his crouch and stretched. “Maybe I’m a horse whisperer.”

Rey snorted. “That’s not how horse whispering works,” she said with a laugh. “Did one of the kids help you?”

Kylo stood slowly, dusting a few loose wisps of straw from the seat of his shorts before answering her. “No, I’ve worked here ten summers-- I know where their stuff goes.”

“Oh,” was all Rey could think to say. Ten summers… he must be nearly thirty?

“Are they ready to go out to the pasture?” he asked, stuffing the paperback in one of his pockets.

“Yeah,” she confirmed, walking outside with him beside her. He was walking quite close to her, and she felt irritable that he felt it necessary to keep so near when it was so disgustingly humid out.

She was acutely aware that despite the general horse funk that clung to her despite repeated washings, she could smell him very faintly over it. She swallowed dryly and tried not to notice _how_ he smelled. It wasn’t strong enough to be cologne, but she thought it might be a lingering trace of aftershave or his deodorant. It had a dark, spicy note that reminded her vaguely of sandalwood.

With the ponies safely in the pasture for the night, they followed the gaggle of chatty campers silently back down the dirt road to the cluster of low, brown buildings that stood amongst the trees.

They were passing under the sign made of twigs lashed together with strips of bark before he finally spoke again.

“Well, Rey,” his deep voice startled her. “Welcome to Camp Obikenobi.”

He steered Milo away from the group with a hand on the boy’s shoulder and a mock salute to her before turning away down the path towards their cabin.

* * *

 

The Thursday before the end of each two-week camp session was Field Day. Midway through the afternoon, Rey and Jessika’s Scavenger cabin was only one point behind Hux and Kylo’s First Order bunch. The chalk scoreboard showed the boys with four events won, and the girls with three.

Despite generally being bigger, many of the girls had already reached the age of being more concerned with looks than winning. Rey found it frustrating to see how easily they gave up running in the muggy heat, complaining melodramatically about their hair or the state of their identical uniforms instead of concentrating on victory.

Jessika rolled her eyes gently when she pointed it out.

“It’s just Field Day, honey,” she replied. They were standing on the sidelines cheering as a representative from each cabin hopped across the field green in a burlap sack. A slender redheaded boy with glasses was a good dozen foot ahead of the nearest competitor and showed no signs of slowing. The Scavenger girl was shuffling in her sack in the middle-back of the pack, walking rather than jumping. “No one actually cares who wins.”

The identities of the cabins at Camp Obikenobi went back decades, or so they were told; each had a distinct symbol painted on the door and each camper received a patch with the same at the end of their session. Families vied fiercely for parents and children and siblings to be in the same cabin across generations.

The skinny boy in the lead broke the ribbon several seconds before anyone else reached the finish line, but the leaderboard stayed the same. He was from the Rebel cabin, who were well behind theirs.

She tried not to stare, but she couldn’t help sneaking what she hoped were clandestine glances at Kylo where he stood strategizing with Hux and their campers. He was still wearing the black t-shirt and she wondered who he knew that he was not required to wear the regulation collared counselor shirt like the rest of them. His thick hair was falling over his eye and he kept brushing it back absently with one hand.

Grooming standards for counselors also dictated that the men be clean-shaven, but yet Kylo was sporting what looked like well more than a wilderness trip’s worth of beard.

A bubble of irritation was beginning to form in her midsection. What did it matter whether he wore the stupid shirt or not, or if he had a beard? That wasn’t her concern.

What _did_ matter, she thought, was that they were close to tying for first place.   

The sky was beginning to look threatening with a summer storm by the time they lined up at the tug-of-war pit, Scavengers on one side and First Order on the other.

“Listen up!” Hux barked to the kids. “You know the rules: the first team to pull the first person on the rope over the center line wins the match, and you know what’s at stake!”

The non-competing teams and their counselors split up behind the teams to cheer them on, and Rey stood with Jessika at center while Kylo held the rope in the middle. The rope was already taut and shimmying slightly with the weight of twenty little bodies on each side. They were already beginning to pull, and Kylo had to bring them back to center several times. He had his hand firmly over the handkerchief that was tied in the middle.

“We should step back,” Jessika pulled her back with a hand to her forearm.

Just as Rey and Jess turned back around, she caught Kylo motioning her campers to move up considerably.

The handkerchief was at least a foot past the marker in their favor. It was impossible to see from the opposing sides, but it was glaringly obvious from their vantage point in the middle.

Just as Rey shouted, “Oi! You’re cheating!”, Hux blew his whistle to signal the start.

Kylo took a giant step back as the campers dug in from each side, pulling fiercely against one another. The Scavengers yanked the handkerchief back to center almost immediately, and were making steady progress towards their side when the anchor on the First Order team, a chubby, freckled kid, thought to turn around and go down on all fours. He clawed frantically at the slippery grass as the heavens opened and it began to pour. The spectators groaned at the rain, but it didn’t deter them from cheering.

“Come on Scavengers!” Jessika shouted over the fray. “You’ve got this, come on! Pull!”

Rey was still seething and she glared at Kylo across the quivering rope. The rain was going down the back of her neck into her shirt, down her back and into the top of her shorts. He stood with his hands on his hips, yelling gruff encouragement at his campers. He glanced at her and winked.

He _winked_ , that asshole! She wiped her hand angrily across her forehead and began yelling along with Jessika.

“Don’t let these cheaters win!” Rey shouted. “Pull harder, you’re bigger than they are!”

The anchor finally got his fingers in the grass and for a moment, Rey thought it was over. The First Order gave a heave-ho that sent the Scavengers stumbling forwards a couple steps and they whooped with triumph, but they got ahead of themselves. The girls leaned back in the most cohesive effort Rey had seen them make all session and they managed to yank the handkerchief well back into their territory. Their anchor turned now too, the rope pulling viciously at her hips as she strained forwards and her teammates yelled with one voice as they hauled back and managed to drag the lead boy on the rope past the center.

Hux’s whistle blew, and the rope fell to the muddied grass in what felt like slow-motion. The Scavenger girls leapt into the air, shrieking and hugging. Rey turned to Jess and they high-fived before turning to their campers and huddling up with them for a group cheer.

“If you’re done celebrating,” Hux sniffed loudly behind them, “Our cabin would like to congratulate yours on your victory?”

They straightened up slowly and fell into line behind their campers to high five their opponents. Rey dutifully said “Good job” to each of their campers, shook Hux’s hand but crossed her arms and stopped in front of Kylo.

“Congratulations,” he offered his hand with a shit-eating grin. A huge drop of rain clung to the tip of his giant nose, threatening to fall. His hair was already plastered to his forehead. “Come on, don’t be a bad sport in front of the kids.”

“I’m not in the habit of congratulating _cheaters_ ,” Rey spat. “They were way over the line, and you know it.”

To her dismay, Kylo looked anything but chagrined at her accusation. “You say cheating, I say handicapping,” he retorted. “You knew your girls were going to win. Let it go.”

Rey shook her head in disbelief. “You’re a monster,” she accused him.

The other counselors and the kids were well on their way up the hill to the main lodge for the awards ceremony when he leaned down to her and said, “And you’re cute when you’re angry, kid.”

Her mouth fell open and she stared at his back as he turned and jogged away from her to catch up with Hux.

* * *

 

Rey lingered in the staff lounge long after Jessa had gone back to the Scavenger cabin with the girls after dinner to begin packing up their clothes and art projects in anticipation of their parents coming to collect them the following day. It was the only air-conditioned building on the property aside from the infirmary, and she shivered miserably in her wet polo under the chilly breeze from the pathetically small window-unit.

She had retrieved her phone from her locker and was scrolling through the texts she’d missed. The lounge was also one of the only buildings with wi-fi. Camp Obikenobi was so remote in the Catskills that most counselors simply turned their phones off and left them in their lockers for the summer. It might have been mere hours by car to the city, but they may as well have been in another galaxy.

There was a string of messages from Finn waiting, each one sounding a little more distant.

Saturday: _hey boo, how r u? Miss yr face._

Tuesday: _u got a new boyfrnd? Kewt boyfrnd?_

Wednesday: _hope ur having a good time_

Today: _hope ur ok. Lmk!_

She sat with her thumbs poised to reply for several seconds, considering what to say. Finally she tapped out:

_Settling in. Miss u! Hope ur doing well 2. Cabin tied for 1st in Field Day! Yay!_

Send. Then she added for good measure:

_Reception sux here. Call u this wknd? Tell Poe hi._

Then finally:

_1 session down; 6 more 2 go! XOXO._

She stared at the texts, reluctant to turn her phone back off. They had applied to camp together, but the offer to stay in Denver and work with at-risk youth in a summer program there had come through first. So he’d stayed, and she’d come here.

It was only for a few months, and it wasn’t like they were _dating_ , exactly…

Rey stood slowly, tugging her wet shorts from her thighs, and replaced her phone in her locker. She noticed several envelopes in her mail slot, and she flicked through them quickly when a scrap of paper fluttered to her feet from between them.

She bent to pick it up, and unfolded it. It was a note was written on a scrap torn from a yellow, legal-ruled pad in a very even, slanting block print.

_Hey Scavenger,_

_Meet me tonight at 10 at the boathouse._

_Unless you think that’s over the line, too._

She read the lines three times before refolding it, biting her lower lip. Rey felt chilly under her wet shirt, but she could not ignore the immediate warmth she felt elsewhere at the obvious implication of the invitation.

She glanced at it one more time before shoving it in her damp pocket and setting off for their cabin.

The building looked like a tornado had hit it when Rey crossed the threshold into the camper’s room. Duffle bags as big as the girls were strewn about on the wood floor, and all manners of t-shirts, shorts, riding breeches, jodhpurs, paddock boots, and training bras were flung here, there, and everywhere.

Rey found Jessika lying back on her bunk calmly, reading a book.

“Are they going to be ready? It looks like a disaster in there,” Rey asked.

“There you are,” Jessika sat up and bookmarked her page. “Where did you get off to?”

“Just the lounge,” Rey shrugged. “I was answering some texts from Finn.”

“Uh huh,” Jessika said, looking her up and down. “For two hours?”

Rey hesitated. “I took a walk.”

“Long walk,” Jessika grinned. “By yourself?”

Rey reached into her pocket and withdrew the note. Even with it folded, she could see the dampness of her shorts had caused the ink to run slightly. She handed it to Jess without comment.

Jessika’s eyebrows shot to her hairline as she read the message.

“Is this from….” she dropped her voice to a whisper so their campers couldn’t hear her, “ _Kylo_?”

Rey pressed her lips into a line in response. “They cheated at tug-of-war. He’s a twat.”

Jessika handed the scrap back to her with an inscrutable expression. “So are you going to go?”

Rey snorted. “I’m going to change out of these wet clothes, is what I’m going to do.”

The girls were still whispering actively at lights-out at 8:30, and neither of them said anything since it was their last night. The only rule was that no campers were allowed past the threshold taped on the floor that demarcated the entrance of their room.

Rey cradled her O-Chem textbook on her chest in the light of the clip-on reading light attached to the post of their bunk bed. Jessika had claimed the top when they’d arrived, and Rey didn’t care.

She was finally feeling warm again and almost sleepy when she glanced at her watch at 9:15, and the girls had settled for the most part from what she could hear. She laid her book across her chest, open to the page she had been reading. The rustle was enough to cause Jessika to stir slightly above her.

“So are you gonna go?” she asked softly.

“Jesus,” Rey rolled her eyes. “No!”

There was brief pause before Jessika continued.

“Is celibacy like, a condition of your visa or something?” Jessika went on. “I mean, I don’t have any first-hand experience, but I’m pretty sure American guys and English ladies are compatible. It’s not like…  metric vs. Imperial down there.”

Rey grimaced in the dark at her friend’s crudeness. “It’s not that.”

“Well, what it is it, then?” Jessika’s disembodied voice sounded exasperated.

“It’s…. he’s… _old_!” Rey exclaimed.

The springs creaked as Jessika shifted and suddenly, her friend’s head was hanging upside down above her, her long, dark hair a shaggy curtain framing her face.

“I think what you mean, is _experienced_ ,” Jessika countered with a grin.

Rey stared at Jessika’s shadow for a moment before she closed her eyes in frustration. “But, I told Finn I’d--”

“Oh my God, do not even say it!” Jessika flopped back on her bunk. “Finn’s not here, Rey. He’s back in Colorado reading to old people, or helping kids cross the street, or whatever it is he’s doing for the summer. Now please, go to the boathouse, and take the edge off already!”

Rey fumed silently from below. She didn’t want to go, to rise to the bait he had laid for her.

They were silent until 9:45, when Rey closed her book and placed on the floorboards beneath her bed. It was at least a ten-minute walk to the boathouse by the lake.

“I knew you’d go,” Jessika whispered as she pulled on a dry pair of shorts once more. “I want a full report.”

“Shut up,” Rey replied. “Don’t wake the girls.”

Rey walked with her arms wrapped tightly around her, gripping the edge of her hoodie's kangaroo pockets as she wound the familiar path to the boathouse. The thunderstorm had passed through and the nearly-full moon illuminated the path.

She paused at the junction in the path where it opened up out of the stand of trees to the beach. The single lightbulb in the boathouse cast a long, dim ray of light out onto the dock, and she spied him lying at the end, his elbow crooked behind his head.

Rey crossed the small, rocky beach and stepped up on worn wooden planks. She was just a few strides from him before he stirred.

“I didn’t think you’d come,” he remarked, looking up at her without moving from his spot.

She regarded him coolly, her arms still crossed. “I don’t usually fraternize with cheaters,” she said primly.

He smirked in response. “I’m glad you could lower your standards for me.”

She sat on the dock beside him without further comment, dipping her bare toes in the scummy water. It was warmer than the night air around her, at least.

“So how’d you learn to ride,” Kylo ventured.

“Pony Club,” she lied.

“What’s that?”

“It’s like your 4-H,” she replied. “But just with horses.”

There was a brief pause before he said, “Ponies are assholes.”

She glanced over her shoulder at him, and found he was grinning.

“Yes,” she agreed with a smile. “They’re perfect for children, that way.”

“I’ve hated those fuckers since this happened,” Kylo sat up and raised his shirt sleeve. He pointed to a spot on the backside of his upper arm. Even in the moonlight, Rey could see it was a sizeable scar in a semi-circular shape.

“You got bit, eh?” she smiled in recognition. “Couldn’t have happened to a nicer bloke.”

Kylo had the sense to look mildly chagrined at her put-down. “That’s fair.”

They sat awkwardly beside one another for a moment before Rey said, “So, you’ve worked here a long time.”

“I’m a teacher,” he said, as though it were self-explanatory. When he caught her look, he explicated, “Summers off.”  

She gazed out over the lake without comment.

“My uncle used to the program director here,” he continued without her asking. “My folks sent me up here to get away from the city.”

“Hmmm,” Rey made a small humming sound. _So he was a legacy camper_ , she thought. Her heart sank a little at her judgement. She could picture his family: pretty, well-groomed. Conservative, maybe borderline religious.

“Is First Order your family cabin?” she asked.

“Nah,” he shook his head immediately. “My mom and uncle were Rebels, when they were kids. I just took whatever cabin I could.”

“Right,” she hung her head, kicking her legs back and forth. The balls of her feet barely skimmed the thick, bright-green layer of algae that clung near the dock.

“Do you want to go swimming?” Kylo asked abruptly.

Rey hesitated. “I didn’t bring a suit.”

There was a brief pause.

“You’ve never been skinny-dipping?”

She could hear his smile.

“No,” she admitted readily. She hoped he couldn’t see her flush in the blue-white moonlight.

“It’s….” he broke off. “It’s really mucky here by the dock. We should go out in the canoe.”

She followed him wordlessly and found she couldn’t meet his eyes as they paddled silently beyond the cattails and algae-blooms to a clear spot where the moonlight reflected brightly on the flat, still surface of the lake.

He stood suddenly, rocking the canoe from side-to-side. She glanced up and bit her lip to catch him stripping himself of his t-shirt. His torso was broad and pale in the wan light, but she huffed to see how well put-together he was. A network of dark moles and a mysterious scar on his side were burned into her mind’s-eye.

“I won’t look if you won’t,” he offered, turning away from her to unbutton his jeans.

“Fine,” she agreed shortly, turning away from him to unzip her hoodie and strip off her t-shirt. She hadn’t bothered with her bra, and she waited until she felt the canoe rock beneath her and hear the telltale splash of his body hitting the water to remove her shorts. He swam quickly away from the canoe with a confident stroke.

She dove into the water after him, surfacing with her hands to push her hair back from her eyes. It felt warm in contrast with the air, and she tread water idly as he swam back to her from a short distance away.

“I’m not a very good swimmer,” she blurted out.

“I won’t let you drown,” he promised, treading closer and closer to her until their knees bumped softly under the water.

She swam the backstroke with him following her, until the top of her back bumped the cool, metal hull of the canoe.

Rey righted herself to find him very close to her, close enough to reach over her shoulder and grip the lip of the canoe above her with his massive hand.

He drew close to her, and she instinctively placed one hand on the span of his neck to steady herself even as they tread water. His skin was cool to the touch, but she could feel the heat of his body beneath it.

“I thought…” Rey said as he bent his head to the crook of her neck and gently pressed his lips to her pulse point, “That counselors weren’t supposed to associate with one another.”

“We’re… not,” Kylo gently pecked his way up the line of her jaw to her ear. “But it only counts when camp is in session. You have to…” He trailed off as his free hand slipped beneath the water to grasp her slender waist. “Read between the lines.”

Rey closed her eyes and tipped her head back until it knocked softly against the boat behind her. It moved as he pulled down enough to float up to catch her lips with his. Their legs knocked irregularly together as she let him him kiss her, his hot tongue sliding eagerly between her open lips. She grasped backwards over her head, clutching at the lip of the canoe alongside his hand.

Under the water, his hand traced up her body, over her rib cage, stopping dangerously close to the cleft of her breasts.  

It was almost dead quiet aside from the occasional splash of the water and the ever-present drone of a few early-season locusts in the trees.

He broke their kiss first, staring at her darkly for a long moment before pushing away and swimming the breaststroke to an indeterminate point some distance away.

She watched him go before she hoisted herself over the side of the canoe and stood, shivering in the moonlight, letting the lake water drip off before reaching for her shirt.

She didn’t need to look over her shoulder to know he was looking at her as she pulled her clothes back on.


	2. July

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am thrilled and surprised to see the response this is getting! There's some heavy-duty RL stuff coming up in the next week, so I can't promise I'll keep writing at this pace, but have another chapter!
> 
> Heads up for mentions of past underage dubcon/noncon stuff. 
> 
> Otherwise... enjoy!

Three sessions of campers had come and gone now, and the impending end of the current session had Rey practically counting the hours until Wednesday evening. Rey had plenty to distract her from his absence in the intervening days, but every time she was not teaching, riding, or eating, her thoughts turned to him.

It was hard not to fidget through the afternoon craft session, and she stood frequently under the pretense of stretching to gaze out the window in the direction of the trailhead from which his group would inevitably emerge. The humidity lay thick in the valley and it was very hazy this afternoon.

“Aren’t you being a little obvious?” Jessika whispered to her at the prep table where they stood, cutting more lengths of yarn for Popsicle-stick dream catchers. “You don’t want to get caught.”

Rey scowled across the table at her friend. “I can’t look out the window? Maybe I want to see what the weather’s like.”

“Well, you know there’s a 100-percent chance of your camp boyfriend coming out of woods and heading to the shower in the next hour, so there’s no need to keep checking,” Jessika replied. “What’s the forecast for you actually fucking him this weekend?”

“Language!” Rey said out loud, causing several of the girls to turn from their crafting to stare at them.

Jessika smirked at her. “Pretty good, I’d say.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “I just want it to be the right time,” she hedged.

“Well, we only have a few more sessions to go, and it’s not like he's around on the reg,” Jessika pointed out unnecessarily. “I think the right time would be… any time you’re together.”

Rey walked away from the craft table without comment, depositing a fat handful of multi-colored yarn on the table. The girls dove eagerly for it, oblivious to her glancing out the window once more.

Her heart leapt to see a straggling line of boys emerging from the woods, trudging under the weight of their hiking packs. They straightened up one by one as they came in sight of the main camp, and finally, Kylo broke into the grassy clearing.

Rey bit her lips as she watched his long legs make short work of the green despite being loaded down with his own pack and carrying two of the boys’ as well. The boys found their second wind and started racing towards their cabin, and he steadily brought up the rear, his strides lengthening to keep up with them.

She sat restlessly at the folding table and helped a few of the campers tie off their work. She looked at Jessika pleadingly, and her friend merely rolled her eyes.

“You know, Rey,” Jessika remarked, “It looks like rain. Did we close the windows in the cabin this morning?”

Rey was halfway to the door before she thought to reply, “You’re right, we left them open, didn’t we? I’ll make sure they’re closed -- see you guys at dinner!”

There were only four showers in the staff bathhouse - two for each gender, but the building was an identical four-by-four cube of stalls with a privacy fence on either side. Each stall had a dressing-room separated by a shower curtain from the actual shower stall, and it was here that Rey hid to talk to him as he washed away ten days’ worth of bug spray, mud and sweat. She hugged her knees to her chest as she perched on the bench so her feet were not visible from the outside.

It was his shampoo that smelled good, she had discovered, and she waited until his eyes were closed and his back to her rinsing his hair to steal a glance at him. She could not resist drawing the curtain slightly to one side and peeking in.

Rey could feel her heartbeat between her legs as her eyes slid over the planes of his broad back, following the flow of the soap suds down the channel of his spine and into the cleft of his beautiful ass. She let the curtain slip back and rested her head back against the wood, gazing up at the cobwebs collected in the corner of the roofline, under the eaves. She wasn’t sure if it was his nearness or his nudity that caused her breathing to stutter.

“Oh, hey kid,” his voice echoed slightly in the bathhouse. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

She smiled and rested her chin on her knees. “Welcome back.”

He peeked out modestly at the top of the curtain. “How’s things been?”

She told him all the things she could think of, from Hux’s newest ridiculous pair of embroidered shorts to Jessika falling off her skittish horse on a trail ride, to her own bruised foot from a pony stomping on it, to the campers’ astute observation that the corpulent head cook, Unkar Plutt, always wore the exact same outfit. They speculated whether he had ten identical smelly outfits, or wore the same one repeatedly.

Rey felt like she was babbling, and was wondering how long he was going to bathe.

The water finally stopped running, and Kylo drew the curtain aside to reach for his towel. She glanced at him a split second before he was able to clutch it to his groin, and her cheeks burned to see he had a hard-on.

“Did you bring me anything?” she asked coyly, careful to look up at his face. She shifted to sitting Indian-style so that he could come closer.

“I brought you some wood,” Kylo whispered hoarsely, slinging his damp towel around his neck. He drew close to her and she didn’t hesitate to take him in her mouth.

She was distantly aware of the shrieks of campers running towards the mess hall for dinner, the steady _drip-drip-drip_ of water seeping into the drain, and a rumble of thunder over the nearby hills, but she closed her eyes and wrapped her hand around the base of his cock and let him thrust against her eager tongue. He tasted like the slightly rusty water and she could still smell his shampoo lingering on the scant, dark trail of hair just under her nose.  

It didn’t take long before he leaned over her and steadied himself with his palm splayed out above her head, cupping the base of her skull and bucking his hips against her face.

When he came, she swallowed him down and gave his head a swipe with her tongue for good measure.

“Thank you,” he rasped, releasing her head. “I owe you.”

Rey leaned back against the stall and wiped the corner of her mouth with her thumb. “I have to take care of one of the ponies tonight after dinner,” she said pointedly. “If you want to keep me company?”

He turned away to draw on his pants, which Rey found endearingly chaste considering she’d just sucked him off.

“Of course I’ll keep you company,” he replied after he zipped his fly. “I wouldn’t leave you alone with one of those assholes.”

* * *

 

“Do you want to go away with me this weekend?” he asked as they were standing over Oreo’s abscessed hoof.

The pony was being cantankerous, refusing to keep his foot in the shallow pan of water and Epsom salts. Kylo was holding his lead rope the way one might hold a dirty diaper: between his thumb and forefinger, at arm’s length from his body. Oreo’s body language mirrored Kylo’s: he kept jerking his head up and back, swiveling his ears backwards and even managed to get his lips on Kylo’s forearm once in preparation for a sneaky nip before Rey had slapped his neck.

She didn’t answer immediately, under the guise of grasping the pony’s fetlock and replacing his hoof once more in the pan. Many of the counselors retreated to town over the Friday and Saturday evenings they had free every other week, before the next batch of campers arrived. They would pool their meager funds, split a cheap hotel room, and fill the bathtub with bags of ice and lousy booze. Details of what happened before they came crawling back to camp on Sunday morning were usually hazy at best.      

Rey had declined Jessika’s invites so far, preferring to stay behind and enjoy the solitude of the empty camp.

And, she stayed because _he_  stayed.

There was less likelihood of them being caught together with the others away, and they managed to fill their precious free hours with repeat trips to the boathouse, trysts in the woods, and rendezvous on a blanket under the stars.

There had been plenty of chances for them to have sex already.

One of them always stopped it before it went that far, though. From her side, Rey was growing weary at their holding pattern. She had been relieved that it was he who had pushed her gently away the first time, but her lust was beginning to take on a frustrated edge now that he might be toying with her.   

“To town?” she asked, avoiding his eyes by picking up Oreo’s hoof and examining the foul-smelling spot in careful detail. The pony swished his tail rancorously, but held still for her attentions.

“No,” Kylo said in a tone that made it clear what he thought of the town trips. “I meant on a hiking trip.”

Rey wrinkled her nose, imagining them in a tent. She hated actual camping for reasons she didn’t care to explain. “Would we sleep outside, or….?”

“Well,” he hesitated. Clearly that had been his original plan. “There’s a cabin about four miles out. We use it with the campers if it’s been raining and it’s too wet to sleep in tents. We could go out there?”

A cabin. This was better.

“It’s nothing fancy,” Kylo continued as though she had already rejected the idea. “But it has a sort-of toilet and we can cook inside.”

A cabin also had beds. Rey swallowed nervously and poked her thumb at the soft pock mark.

“You don’t have to come,” Kylo sounded crestfallen now. “I mean, I’d like your company, but I’m not going to kidnap you.”

Rey replaced Oreo’s hoof once more to continue soaking before she straightened up and turned back to face him. He was threading the excess lead rope through his off-hand nervously.   

“I’d like that,” she smiled. “When shall we leave?”

* * *

 

Rey tossed and turned on Thursday night in her bunk until Jessika finally whispered, “Rey, are you sick? You’re shaking the whole bunk.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t sleep,” Rey sighed, folding back the top of her blanket to her waist. She was too warm, then too cold as her sweaty skin cooled in the night air. It was nearly midnight and the moon shone brightly outside.

“It’s alright,” Jess sighed too. “Are you nervous?”

Rey shrugged. She had told Jessika about their plan and immediately regretted it.

“It’s okay if you are,” Jess continued. “I would be.”

Rey paused. “Why?”

“It’s just… nervewracking,” Jess said, and Rey could hear how she was trying to keep her tone light. “It’s weird the first time with anyone. You have to figure each other out.”

“Sure,” Rey agreed.

They were quiet for a bit, listening to the crickets singing, before her friend continued.

“You packed condoms, right?”

“Jess!” Rey scrunched her eyes closed. “You were standing right there as I put them in my backpack!”

“Okay, okay!” her roommate giggled a little. “Just be safe, alright? And… try to enjoy yourself.”

Rey glared at the underside of the mattress until she heard Jessika’s breathing become deeper.

* * *

 

They set out separately at 4PM on Friday, and met at a spur in the trail over a mile from Camp Obikenobi. The campers had been picked up hours before, and their fellow counselors had vacated camp almost as soon as the last Volvo station wagon disappeared over the sandy hump towards the main road.

Rey followed him mostly in silence, keeping her head down to avoid stumbling over tree roots and side-stepping the wild blackberry vines that threatened to grab her shirt. They paused occasionally as he pointed out landmarks along the way, but they reached the lodge by 5:30.

To call the place rustic would have been generous, Rey silently mused as she turned around in the great room, a dimly-lit collection of rag-tag couches and chairs. Kylo had gone outside to open the valve on the propane tank so that they could use the stove, and to turn on the water heater to warm the tank of collected rainwater that supplied the bathroom.

They had both placed their backpacks inside the door of the bedroom without a word.

After dinner, they sat outside on the porch in the Adirondack chairs well past sunset, until Rey’s bare legs became fodder for what felt like every mosquito this side of the Hudson.

“My legs are going to be covered in bites,” she complained as they shut the screen door.

“What are those spotted horses called?” he asked as they settled onto the sagging couch. The lamp was to his left, and he didn’t bother turning it on. “You’ll look like one of those.”

“Appaloosas?” she asked. “They’re American, aren’t they?”

Kylo shrugged and stretched overhead. His shirt stretched with him and a strip of his stomach appeared above his jeans. “Beats me. You’re the Pony Club president.”

She studied his profile in the dark and it was on the tip of her tongue. She was kneeling beside him.

“So,” she started. “Are we just going to sit here in the dark, or….?”

He shrugged again. “You’re welcome to turn the lamp on if you want.”

She huffed at his laziness and reached across his lap, balancing on all fours on the squishy cushions. She strained and had almost reached the pullcord of the lamp with her fingertips when he playfully slapped her upturned bottom.

She froze, her arm outstretched in the dark.

It stung, and she could feel the outline of where his fingers had connected with her rear. She glanced back at him over her shoulder and said, “Have I been bad, then?” Her voice sounded hoarse.

“I don’t know, have you?” His deep voice was soft.

She knew he was giving her an out. Slowly, she straightened up from her crouch, her hands braced on his thigh. His expression was impossible to read in the darkness.

“Yes,” she whispered. “I’ve been very naughty.”

He drew and held his breath for a moment before he replied.

“Take off your pants.” It wasn’t a request, and Rey felt the heat begin to pool immediately between her legs as she thumbed the button of her shorts.

She pushed the material down her thighs to her knees, and knelt over his lap once more. His palm was warm and heavy on the back of her neck as he forced her down onto her elbows. His fingers trailed up the backs of her bare thighs and she shivered when they reached the stinging spot. He stroked the mark through her underwear before grasping them by the waistband and dragging them down her thighs as well.

Rey breathed shallowly, open-mouthed, her eyes fluttering closed. This was not how she pictured this evening unfolding.

The second blow hit her where her left buttock cleaved into her thigh, and she whimpered with delight as he massaged the tender spot before running his thumb along the soft flesh in the cleft of her rear. She shuddered as his hand came to rest over her heat between her legs, pressing the flat of his palm to her wet nether lips. She arched back against the pressure, shifting from side to side on her knees to grind against him.

“You _are_ very naughty,” Kylo repeated, withdrawing his hand from her and wiping her juices on the back of her calf. He shifted under her and she knew his pants were probably feeling tight. She wanted to touch him, but he hadn’t removed his hand from her neck to allow her to move.

Rey moaned in frustration, earning her another stinging slap layered over the first. She clawed at the couch cushions, then bit the heel of her hand when he grabbed the tender flesh and squeezed, his fingertips digging into her muscle. Again he palmed her aching sex and she longed for him to slip one of his thick fingers inside her.

The thought of it made her clench and she muttered against her hand, “Oh, please, fuck me, Daddy!”

His hand stilled instantly between her legs, and her eyes popped open.

“What did you just say,” Kylo asked. He removed his hands from her and she immediately straightened up, her thighs trembling slightly.

“I…. uh,” she stammered, pulling her panties back up over her smarting bottom. “I’m sorry, I just got carried away.”

He stood abruptly and went to the door. “Maybe you should go to bed, Rey,” he said without looking at her.

“No, Kylo--wait!” She took two steps after him, but he was already out the door and walking away into the night.

* * *

 

She lay awake for what felt like hours, waiting for him.

After he’d gone, she had taken off her clothes and lay cocooned in the sheets, thinking he would come in to her. Her whole body felt like a raw nerve, and the slightest brush of her skin was an aching reminder of how close they’d been to… At first she’d wondered if this wasn’t part of the game, making her wait this way, but the longer she’d laid alone, the more ashamed she became of herself.

She refused to allow herself to finish what they’d started alone.

She dozed off without realizing it, and woke to the sound of rain drumming on the roof of the cabin. She rolled over and saw in a flash of lightening that he was standing at the foot of the bed, taking off his shirt. His hair looked wet from what she could see.

They were miles from any artificial light, and the cabin was nearly pitch black inside save for the storm. She felt the bed shift as he crawled up beside her, then a draft of cool air against her body as he slid beneath the sheet.

“Hey, Scavenger,” he whispered as his lips found hers. “I’m sorry about that earlier. I was being stupid.”

She carded her fingers through his damp hair and she drew close to him. “It’s fine.”

She felt boneless as he pressed her back to the sheet and lay over her, nuzzling her neck and kneading her breasts softly with his palm. She felt under the pillowcase beneath her head for the foil wrapper she’d planted there earlier.

He took it from her without a word, kneeling between her knees and rolling it on without argument. When he settled back over her, he went still.

“Are you... is this okay?” he whispered against her neck. “You’re shaking.”

“It’s fine,” Rey cupped her hand to his cheek. “It’s just not my favorite… this way.”

She was grateful for the dark so that she could not see his reaction. Truthfully, she normally would’ve done almost anything to avoid being on her back like this, but there was something soothing about his bulk over her. She hooked her ankles behind his hips and arched her back so that their bellies touched.

“What do you like better?” he asked as he sucked her earlobe. The tip of his cock was tracing indecently between her folds as he undulated against her.

“I like to lie on my stomach,” she admitted. “Or be on my knees.”

Kylo hummed and said, “Well, we have all night.”

Rey scrunched her eyes closed and turned her head to the side. It wasn’t that it didn’t feel _good_ this way-- she sucked a sharp breath as he slipped inside her-- it was just unrelentingly intimate in a way that Rey had never felt about anyone. She found it hard to come looking at another person, like it divorced her from what she was feeling in her own body.

What she felt right now, though, was _full_. She knew he was not small, but her cunt felt stretched in a way she’d never felt before. She was plenty wet, but she hitched her legs higher to make it easier for him. He slid into her until his pelvis bumped against hers, and she bit her lip to keep from saying anything else stupid.

“Rey,” he rasped in her ear, “I want you to come.”

“It’s ok,” she shook her head without opening her eyes. “It still feels good.”

“No,” he grabbed her hand from his shoulder insistently. “I mean, touch yourself.” He threaded their hands between their bodies. “Make yourself come like a good girl.”

Her eyes snapped open and she breathed hard through her open mouth. No one had ever commanded her to take her pleasure while they were fucking her. She found the spot with her first two fingers and whimpered to feel the nubbin slide away from the pressure.

“That’s right,” Kylo growled in her ear, picking up his pace. “Don’t make me spank you again.”

Rey rubbed at herself with abandon and her eyes rolled back in her head to feel how the cotton sheets abraded her bottom as he drove her hips into the bed. She pictured of them on the couch again with his hand between her legs, how badly she still craved that release, and it pushed her over the edge.

She writhed beneath him, rubbing and rubbing until he came too with a hoarse cry, bucking his hips hard against her.

She rolled onto her stomach when he left the bed momentarily, stretching to her full length before curling onto her side. He lay behind her when he returned, rubbing absently at the side of her hip.

When she woke again, she was overly warm and realized she was tucked against the inferno of his body. The storm had abated and there was a fresh, sweet humidity to the night air. It was still well dark but Rey thought she could detect a shift in the color of the sky through the window above the bed.

He moved his arm where it draped heavily over her waist, and she knew he was awake, too. His cock pressed against the soft curve of her buttocks.

She wondered how long he’d been awake.

Turning face-down, she looked back at him and ventured a small smile. “Hey there.”

“Hey,” he replied, smoothing his hand over her back and down her thighs. It made her shiver, and she hid her face in her arms when she saw how his expression darkened then.

She pushed up onto all fours for a moment, arranging a pillow under her hipbones. Settling back onto her front, she simply said, “Please?”

If she’d been asked to explain it, she would’ve said being fucked like this was the only way she could let herself _feel_ it. Not her emotions-- she meant she noticed all her other senses save for sight in a way that she couldn’t when she had to look at her partner.

It was the way it sounded when his breathing stuttered in her ear. The soft, rhythmic cadence of the bedsprings squeaking beneath them.

How his fingers tasted when she sucked the ones nearest her face and how she could smell herself on his palm. He could’ve been anyone, really, but she was furiously aware of his unmistakable scent surrounding her.

The feeling of a cool spot of sheet against her cheek as she gazed listlessly through the curtain of her hair at his forearm planted near her shoulder, contrasted with the hot press of his hard thighs against the softness of her inner legs.   

“Say it, Rey, “ he whispered into the shell of her ear. “Say it.”

Her face twisted with ecstasy and she convulsed under him, his weight keeping her from moving as much as she wanted to.

“Yes, fuck,” she hissed, “Oh, yes, fuck me, don’t stop!”

He groaned too then, forcing her flat against the pillow and thrusting so hard she could feel him in her stomach. She bucked her hips in time with his, and she did not slow until he did, smoothing his hand over her cheek to push her hair back.

When he did finally pull back from her, he knelt on all fours over her and slowly kissed his way down her spine. She shivered when his mouth reached the triangle at the top of the cleft of her buttocks and his tongue darted out to taste the sweat that had formed here.

“Thank you,” he whispered, tucked the sheet up around her body and got up.

* * *

 

The sun was well up by the time she awoke, and she found him lounging on the deck with a cup of coffee and a cigarette in need of ashing languishing in an empty sterno can.

“Hey,” he said, glancing over his shoulder at her. “Did you get some sleep?”

“A little,” she replied. She had lain in bed dozing, but the stillness of the cabin had tipped her off that he was no longer inside.

He nodded and picked up the cigarette, delicately tapping the ash from it before taking a drag and offering it to her.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” Rey commented, taking it and inhaling much more deeply than he had.

“I don’t,” he grinned. “Not any more, anyway. I just found that pack here -- I think one of the campers stashed it.”

“Sneaky,” Rey blew a cloud of smoke up towards the eaves.

They were quiet for a moment before Kylo said, “Rey, I’m sorry about last night, how I freaked out on you. It had nothing to do with you.”

Rey only raised one eyebrow. “Didn’t it?”

“No, you just… surprised me with that,” he shook his head. “I didn’t expect it, and it dredged up some… stuff about _my_ dad. You were fine, I was wrong to criticize you for it.”

Rey took another drag on the cigarette without comment before handing it back to him. He had mentioned before that he didn’t get along with his parents, especially when he was younger.       

“It’s fine,” she said. “Really.”

He narrowed his eyes, gauging her reaction, and turned his coffee mug in a circle. “C’mere, sweetheart,” he said, extending one hand to her with a small smile.

She stiffened immediately, folding in on herself. “Don’t you _ever_ call me that,” she gritted out.

His hand dropped lamely to his thigh and he looked rightfully confused. “Jesus, Rey, I was joking.”

“I wasn’t in Pony Club,” she told him flatly. “It was an equine therapy program for juvenile delinquents. After my parents died, I was in an orphanage.” He looked up at her, his expression sliding from confusion to surprise. “But, I ran away with a… a boy. We lived on the street for awhile, until he got picked up for selling drugs. That’s why I hate camping. Anyway, after we were separated, I had.. anger issues. They elected to try the horse therapy program first before incarceration.”

“But…” he shook his head and she could tell he was trying to figure out what she was telling him. “But how did you live? What did you do for money?”

Rey cocked her head at him and rolled her eyes a touch. _You know_.

“How old were you?”

She looked away. “Not old enough for that.”

“Oh,” he leaned forwards and rested his elbows on his knees, his fingers laced loosely together. “Oh.”

She could tell by his tone that understanding was beginning to set in. Rey scrubbed one bare foot over the other and waited for him to say something else.

Kylo stared at her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Which bit?” Rey hugged her elbows and shrugged. “I don’t want you to pity me. And I thought we were just having fun, so…. It was a long time ago, what happened to me. Almost like it happened to someone else, instead of me.”

“So are we…?” Kylo asked. “Just having fun?”

“I am,” Rey replied lightly. “Aren’t you?”

He steepled his fingers together before he said tentatively, “Of course I am. I also… thought you might be looking for something… more.”

Rey dropped her chin to her chest and bit her lips. “But… you live in New York,” she said weakly, her heart beating too quickly. “I live in Colorado.”  

“I know,” Kylo looked at his hands. “Sorry, maybe I misunderstood,” he glanced up at her. “Maybe we want something different from this.”

“That’s not true,” she whispered. “I can’t stop thinking about you,” she admitted. “It makes me sick when I think about the end of the summer.”

He stood and walked over to her, placing his hands on the porch railing on either side of her. “Okay,” he nodded. “We don’t have to decide anything right now.”

She wound her arms around his neck and huffed as he picked her up. She hitched her legs around his waist so that he could carry her inside and curl around her under the sheet once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... come at me! Comments are life!


	3. August

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey sinners, here's a Sunday chapter for you! Enjoy!

Rey was stowing her backpack in her cubby in their room when Jessika appeared in the doorway with dark circles under her eyes. It was 1PM on Sunday afternoon, and the campers did not begin arriving until 3PM. A list with their names, ages, and hometowns had been waiting on the common table when she had come in around noon.

She and Kylo had parted ways in the woods at the fork in the trail, lingering for a long time before finally beginning the begrudging trek back to camp separately.  

“Hey stranger,” Rey greeted her.

“Hey, you!” Jessika brightened up considerably at the sight of her. She flung herself onto Rey’s bunk and propped her head up on her hand. She grinned wickedly.

Rey could not not help but chuckle at her friend’s body language. “How was town?” she asked innocently.

Jessika rolled her eyes. “Same old. I think I let Hux go down on me? But then we both passed out before anything really happened.”

Rey wrinkled her nose. “Gross!”

“It was,” Jess admitted with a carefree shrug. “No regrets, though. At least if it was gross, I don’t really remember it.”

Rey shrugged and turned back to mating and folding her socks. She could practically feel Jessika’s curiosity vibrating in the silence.

“Well…?” Jessika finally said to her back. “And how was _your_ weekend?”

Rey could feel her cheeks flush, deciding how to respond. She placed a pink sock with its mate and smoothed them together before she said, “It was… good.”

She glanced over her shoulder at Jessika, who was staring at her open-mouthed in anticipation.

“Good?” Jessika repeated curiously. “But… did you?”

Rey’s flush deepened. “We did,” she said simply.

“Oh, thank God, you had me going there for a second!” Jessika exclaimed, dissolving into a breathy laugh. “Well?”

“Well, what?” Rey turned back, hiding her grin behind her hand. “Yes, we did.”

“Well, you don’t have to be so cagey!” Jessika huffed, lying back on her pillow. Rey crossed the room and lay beside her friend. “How was it?”

“Shhhh,” Rey rolled her eyes and picked at the blanket. “You were right. The first time is always a bit weird.”

“Like, good-weird? Kinky-weird? He looks like the type would be, if you know what I mean.”

“No, not like that-- what does that even mean?” Rey shook her head. She hesitated, trying to decide how to characterize what had happened without having to give too much detail. “There was some miscommunication at first, but after that, it was…” she trailed off, her eyes falling closed involuntarily at the memory. “Hot. Like, really hot.”

She opened her eyes languidly and found Jessika peering at her suspiciously.

“Holy shit, you _like_ him!” Jessika propped herself up on one elbow. “I don’t believe this.”

Rey couldn’t quite believe it, either. After she had told him, they had lain silently together for awhile before he had recovered gracefully and they had spent the rest of the weekend making a kind of sloppy, curious, sweet love to each other that she could not have anticipated. Jess had been right: his being older made him unflappable in a way she found strangely alluring. And he seemed to genuinely enjoy figuring her out.

With other partners, she’d found herself content to scratch the itch a time or perhaps two, before she gently let them down and moved on. Nor was it often she felt that way about someone.

The opposite seemed be to true with Kylo: it felt like no matter how good it felt, or how long they lingered, she wanted him again. Her lust felt like a swirling, black pool in the ocean; as soon as she thought she might be ready to hoist herself up on a jagged rock, she felt the undertow tugging at her foot and dragging her back under the surface.

She studied Jess’s face and finally replied, “Yeah. I do. It actually scares me a little.”

To her surprise, Jessika smiled broadly then. “I am so excited for you!”

“You… are?” Rey wrinkled her nose, a little embarrassed.

“Yes!” Jessika exclaimed, clutching her hands to her heart and lying back. “This is really romantic!”

Rey giggled a little. “I guess so, huh?”

Jessika sighed happily. “It is! Did you leave me any condoms in case _my_ summer boyfriend is right around the corner?”

An embarrassed grin twisted her lips involuntarily. “Um, yes. He brought his own.”

Jessika’s eyes popped open and she squealed a little. “Okay, so he’s a Boy Scout. Always prepared. That’s nice.”

“It is, because the ones I brought…. didn’t fit,” Rey giggled. She watched as Jess’s cheeks scrunched further into a delighted grin.

“Um, wow,” Jessika laughed. “Can you still walk?”

“Yes, oh my goodness!” Rey exclaimed, turning on her stomach and hiding her face under the pillow. Her roommate was always very free with, and curious about, the particulars of their various hookups, but it was not in her nature to be so indiscreet. “He was a gentleman.” Her voice was muffled under the pillow.

The bunk shifted as Jess turned on her side towards Rey and lifted the edge of the pillow to peer at her. Her friend’s eyes were crinkled in amusement at her, and Rey tugged the pillow away to continue hiding her face.

“Lucky!” Jessika sing-songed. “Rey has a boyfriend, Rey has a boyfriend!”

Rey continued hiding her face so that Jess couldn’t see her stupidly delighted grin.

* * *

 

They saw each other across the room during the opening session that evening, and Rey caught Jess staring at him with a barely-concealed smirk.

“Cut it out,” Rey elbowed Jess in the ribs as Director Snoke rasped his way through the rulebook. “You’re being really obvious.”

Jessika was clearly having trouble keeping a straight face and her breathing indicated she was about to burst out laughing. The old man paused briefly and looked their direction as Jessika stood abruptly and ducked out the back door, coughing to disguise her laughter. Rey stared at the floorboards between her crossed legs until Snoke resumed outlining the importance of following rules and regulations.  

Rey glanced sideways at Kylo where he was seated at the far end of the row with his new batch of campers. He gave the impression of listening, but Rey could tell he was gazing somewhere up behind the Director’s head, at the top of the chimney made of round, smooth river rocks. The main lodge had antler light-fixtures and black-and-white pictures of past generations of campers in birch-wood frames lining the hallways. She had lingered in here once, staring at the group photos from the late 1960’s and early 1970’s, trying to decide which young woman might have been his mother. All the girls had long, blunt-cut hair that reached well past their shoulders and more than a few wore cat-eye glasses that obscured their expressions.

It had taken awhile to spot them, but eventually she recognized the same two kids in a series of photographs: a petite, pretty brunette girl and a short, sandy-haired boy next to her. She instantly recognized Kylo’s eyes in the girl’s expression: she gazed intently at the photographer, but there was a hint of mischief in the way the corners of her eyes crinkled. She was… beautiful. Her dark hair was plaited in a thick, single braid that lay over her shoulder. Rey had had to turn away from it when she felt tears pricking her own eyes at how much it reminded her of her own mother.

The first night at camp was always squirrely, with the girls claiming their bunks and quick alliances forming. A distinct pecking order emerged after a few days together, and Rey was amused to see how frequently the bolder, brassier kids did not necessarily end up at the top of the heap. One of the first things she taught them about the ponies was how to pay attention to their body language, and how to see where their pony stood in the herd’s order.

The next thing she taught them was to pay attention to their own emotions and movements, and how it influenced their mounts. This was how she sized them up to pair them with the pony they were assigned to for the remainder of the session. Some of them had experience with riding, so it was a natural fit to give them a bigger pony, or a more dominant herd member. A few gangly girls who’d had early growth spurts were too big for the true ponies, and she usually put them with one of the mustangs in the herd. They were flinty, sturdy creatures barely bigger than ponies. Despite having been born wild, they now stood willingly for hours as the girls braided their wild manes and shaggy tails into fanciful creations.  

“But, how do you know if they’ll be good together,” Kylo had asked earnestly. He hadn’t asked many direct questions of her, instead letting her share what she wanted.

She didn’t, of course. She’d made a couple mistakes and had to switch kids midway through sessions. But mostly, she could trust her instincts when making a match.

“You get good at sizing people up quickly,” Rey answered. “And a lot of how horses react to you is how you approach them. Be confident, and so will they. If you’re tentative, they’ll take advantage of you. It’s not a science, you just have to see how the kids act and how different ponies act with them.”   

“Did you size me up?” he said playfully.

“Of course,” she admitted, brushing her hand suggestively up his thigh through the sheet. “I like your size.”

To her surprise, he had blushed a deep red at her flirting, but he hadn’t objected as she’d continued her ministrations.

* * *

Ten days of separation had felt like an unbearable eternity on Sunday evening, but camp had a way of taking her mind off of him for most of the intervening days. There was still plenty of time left to daydream when she was alone: in the grey morning hours before the kids began to stir, in the shower, in the interminably long time it took them to brush and saddle their ponies, in her bunk after lights-out until she drifted off to sleep.

The Tuesday before he was due back was a special agony. The weather had turned unseasonably cold and rainy, confining the campers to indoor activities on what should’ve been their last day with their ponies. Rey usually liked to do a long trail ride that day, but instead they were inside the great lodge, watching movies and the downpour.

“Ulgh,” Jessika said for the umpteenth time. “Can you imagine camping in this?”

Rey was silent. She was more than aware how it felt to camp in the rain, and felt like people who sought it out voluntarily were probably clinically insane.

“Sorry,” Jessika said immediately. “I just meant, I hope he’s okay with the boys. That’s all.”

Rey shrugged as nonchalantly as she could manage. “It’s fine. I’m sure they’re alright.”

She had told Jessika about her past as soon as her roommate had suggested working at the camp. They had been tipsy after returning from a party one Saturday in October, and Rey had gently told Jess why it was she hated camping, and how she was reluctant to spend an entire summer in what was basically the out-of-doors.

Jessika had nodded quietly through her explanation-- quite a bit more detailed than what she’d told Kylo-- and then hugged Rey to her without hesitation.

“I’m sorry that happened to you, bae,” she’d said softly. “You seem way too awesome for all that.”

Her face had lit up when Rey began telling her about the equine therapy, though.

“Rey!” Jess exclaimed. “No, look -- it’s meant to be, the last riding teacher got fired for negligence! You’re a shoo-in. You _have_ to apply-- look, I’ll help you write your application, they’ll love this! You have great story.”

She had strenuously objected; she was not in the habit of telling people about her history regularly, and especially not to get things.

That was when they’d lit on the Pony Club lie together.

“No, this is even better!” Jessika was really into it now. “The camp loves this kind of thing-- cross-cultural experiences and learning and stuff? They deliberately seek out diversity in the staff, so just.. Just leave out the part about _why_ you were in therapy, and concentrate out of what kids that age will get out of working with horses, the way you did when you were a kid. You’re giving back-- there’s no way you’re not getting this job.”

Now here they were together, staring out at the deluge, their matching hoodies with “Camp Obikenobi” printed across the chest fully zipped up.

The following day had broken clear and chilly, but the sun promised to dry up the ground enough that they might go riding once more in the afternoon.

“No promises,” Rey tried to calm the girls, over-eager with pent-up energy from the day before. “We’ll have to see how wet it is first.”

She couldn’t have held them back if she’d tried once they reached the stable after lunch. She was loathe to keep them penned in the arena when this would be their last opportunity to ride. Field Day deliberately left out any equine activities for liability and logistical reasons, and frankly, Rey was perfectly fine to coast for that Thursday.

Besides, it meant she had more time to secretly observe him as he wrangled his unruly campers, fresh off ten days of freedom in the woods, into some semblance of unity with Hux’s to compete against them.

The trail ride took a good deal longer than expected. The girls trotted and even cantered on ahead of her on the mucky, narrow path despite her warnings to go slow, and the ponies seemed just as defiant. She kept urging her own mount, a steady Haflinger named BeBe, forwards to catch up with them.

They lingered in an open field, playing a modified version of duck-duck-goose with their ponies in a lopsided circle. Rey looped her reins through her elbow and leaned back, resting her palm on Bebe’s rump. He settled contentedly beneath her, his orange-brown coat shiny in the sun.

“That’s right,” Rey scratched his spine. “Almost time for your days off again.” He swished blonde tail at a fly on his leg but didn’t move.

She leaned forwards then, burying her hands under his massive, shaggy mane. He was sweating lightly up underneath it at the crest of his neckline, and she flipped it over only to watch it fall slowly back to its natural part. BeBe bent forwards and scratched his leg with his nose, then grabbed a sneaky mouthful of grass.

“Alright, you,” Rey gently pulled his head up. She’d need to clean his bridle before she put it away.

They arrived to the mess hall after most of the other cabins were already eating. The girls slid into their chairs next to Jess’s lot, who rolled their eyes and held their noses at how their friends smelled after an afternoon at the barn. They hadn’t had time to go back to the cabin as usual and change before dinner.

“Hey!” Rey said to Jess brightly, “I brought you some Jello. How was crafts?”

Jessika didn’t look up from cutting her country-fried steak or respond. It was a tough piece of meat, but Rey wondered how long it could take to remove one bite from the amorphous blob.

“They were fine, how was riding?” Jess finally looked up, and Rey could immediately see something was off.

“Fine,” Rey replied, and she glanced over at the First Order’s table.

A neatly groomed, dark-haired guy was sitting with Hux.

Rey did a double-take, thinking for a split second that perhaps Kylo had shaved. And gotten a haircut. And shrunk perhaps six inches.

He was not with them.

She looked back at Jessika, who was sawing off another piece of meat. Rey slowly cut a piece of her own, even though she was not at all hungry.

“Well,” she began, “I’m sure he’s just getting changed or showering--”

“That guy was with them when they got back to camp,” Jess tilted her head towards the boys’ table. “Kylo wasn’t with them.”

“Oh,” was all she said. She had a thick, sinking feeling in her middle now.

“I’m sure you’re right,” Jessika said, her tone sounding forced. “Maybe he had to take one of the kids to the infirmary or something.”

“Sure,” Rey replied curtly.

Field Day felt agonizingly long, twice as long as usual. He was nowhere to be found. Jessika caught her looking for the umpteenth time and gently squeezed her hand.

“I’m sure there’s an explanation,” she whispered. “Try to forget about it for now.”

Rey nodded, but looked down at the grass.

“I’ll ask around to see if anyone knows where Kylo is,” Jessika promised. “But you know he keeps to himself.”

After the campers left on Friday, Rey went to the stable alone. Jessika was taking a nap, but Rey couldn’t stand to stay in the stuffy, warm cabin staring at the bottom of Jess’s bunk for another second. She had barely slept in two nights already, and was starting to feel delirious from lack of sleep.

She cleaned each of the ponies’ bridles and saddles until her fingers were a slimy, shriveled mess from the saddle soap, then hung them back in the tack room.

At dusk, she went out to the herd in the field and found BeBe, standing nose-to-tail with Oreo, swishing their tails over each other to ward off mosquitos. She waited until they stepped apart before she approached BeBe and slipped him the treat in her pocket.

She leaned heavily against his shoulder, pressing her cheek to the groove where his neck met the muscle, burying her fingers in his tangled mane. It steadied her, but she could not shake the bead of worry that had overtaken her midsection. It wasn’t exactly her stomach, nor exactly her heart.

“Hey, boy,” she whispered to him. He started back to look at her, his liquid black eyes peering curiously out from beneath his long forelock. She reached up carefully, smoothed it out of his eyes and into a loose braid that laid down the middle of his broad, gentle face. “We need to fix your antennae. There. Now you can see again.”

BeBe shook himself all over, and her work was promptly undone. He nudged her with his nose, obviously looking for another treat.

“Is that all I’m good for?” she said softly. “A pat on the head and something to eat?”

She hugged him once more, feeling the heat of his body through her clothes. It was rapidly becoming dark, and some of the other ponies were beginning to lie down for the night.

Before long, she wiped at a tear that was leaking down her cheek. Then another. Then one blended wetly into BeBe’s coat under her other cheek. She choked back a sob as she turned from BeBe and started blindly across the field to the gate. Why she even cared if anyone heard her, she didn’t know. There was no one around.

She heard a rustle behind her, and turned to find BeBe following her quite closely. He stopped when she turned to face him, then followed after her again when she tried to slip away. She turned back suddenly now and he started, raising his head high to watch her. He was clearly sizing her up.

“Go away!” she hissed at him. “Your herd is that way!” She could feel herself almost shaking with anger, but not at BeBe. She took several deep breaths to calm herself, and his head notched slowly back down to a more neutral position. “Go on, be with your friends.”

BeBe dropped his head further and made a soft fluttering sound with his nostrils.

“You’re alright,” she assured him, wiping her cheek with the heel of her hand. “I still like you.”

* * *

Yoga was not Rey’s favorite form of exercise, but she went often enough with Jessika during the year to keep her company to pick her way through the flows. She had reluctantly gone into town at Jessika’s insistence on Saturday morning to the drop-in session. Mostly she found it boring, and she found some of the poses awkward or even downright embarrassing. She usually sat those out, and the teachers were generally too nice to push her.

The air in the upper-level dance studio was slightly cooler than outside from a small window-unit air conditioner that dripped steadily into a bucket. It smelled slightly like mildew, and the sun crept in around the edges of the shades pulled down over the tall, arched windows.

They had reached the end of the session and were lying in corpse pose-- another one she would not submit to-- and listening to the teacher read inspirational quotes as she walked around correcting their postures.

Rey rolled over protectively onto her stomach and laid her cheek on her arms. She felt like punching the instructor for the breathy, flaky tone she adopted as she read.

“Remember,” the teacher intoned, “Breathe through it, and release anything that does not serve you.”

Rey rolled her eyes, but concentrated on feeling her ribcage expand against the mat as she quietly endured. She glanced over at Jessika, who looked like she might have fallen asleep, her legs and arms spread gracefully.

“That’s right,” the teacher was coming closer. “Feel your breath going in… and out…. in…. and out. Pay special attention to the spots where you hold tension, and release it as you exhale.”

She could hear the teacher moving closer and turning the page in her book. “Oh, this is a good one. This is from Ghandi: ‘I offer you peace. I offer you love. I offer you friendship. I see your beauty. I hear your need.’ Isn’t that lovely? I think we can all do a bit better of hearing each other.”

Rey was holding her breath now knowing she was soon to receive correction, but she managed to spread her legs wide enough that her thighs no longer touched. It was usually enough to fake that she was relaxing.  

“Good,” said the instructor’s voice to another student immediately to her right. “Everyone keep breathing. It’s so important to keep breathing. We hold a lot of tension in our bodies by bottling things up, and we women tend to hold it in our hips. Our hips hold a lot of emotion, as women.”

She sucked another deep breath at this remark and held it until her lungs burned. She was trying to think of anything else than how it had felt to have him lying on her like this.

“The quote goes on, ‘I feel your feelings. My wisdom flows from the Highest Source. I salute that Source in you. Let us work together for unity and love.’”

The teacher bent down beside her and placed her hand on Rey’s lower back, rubbing gently from side-to-side. “You’re alright, try to relax your hips,” the woman’s voice was very soft. “Acknowledge your feelings, and let them go.”

The second the woman’s hand left her, a floodgate opened inside her and she pushed up and bolted to the bathroom, locking it behind her. She crouched on the toilet, hugging her knees to her chest and shuddering as sobs wracked her body. Rey tried to hold her breath to keep from making a sound, only to take intermittent heaving gasps when her body’s instinct to breathe took over.

She could hear the other students chattering and leaving the studio, and after a short while, there was a soft knock at the door.

“Rey?” Jessika’s voice was gentle. “Would you please let me in there?”

Rey flicked the lock in the handle and hid her face on her knees. Jessika slid in with her and leaned heavily against the door.

“Bae, I know you hate yoga, but this is a little much even for you,” Jessika tried to joke with her. “Not everyone is naturally bendy.”

Rey shook her head piteously and gasped for air. She heard Jess come closer, and then felt her friend’s hand smoothing her hair.

“Shhhhh, Rey,” Jessika murmured. “It’s going to be okay. You’re okay. I’m sure there’s an explanation, people don’t usually just… disappear.”

“No,” Rey wailed, finally lifting her head. “I was so stupid, Jess, I told him about… about _me_ ,” she said obliquely. “And now he’s gone. Of course.”

Jessika did well to hide her surprise and school her face into a patient mask as she dabbed at Rey’s cheeks with a wad of one-ply toilet paper.

“Well,” she hedged, “That’s kinda heavy stuff for a first time, don’t you think? But it’s not like he bolted the second he heard that. It sounds like he’s into you, too, babe.”

No one had known where Kylo was. Jessika’s clandestine investigation had turned up little information, and the young man who’d been with Hux had disappeared as soon as the campers had left.

Rey nodded, but her heart was a stabbing ball of hurt in her chest. She could hear the logic of what Jess was saying, but there was a nagging doubt inside her that said he’d simply listened to her so he could have his way with her. She would never have voiced the comparison, even to Jess, but it almost felt more honest to have been given money for the act than to have revealed  her nascent feelings in return for this treatment.

“Everyone else is gone,” Jess continued. “Can I buy you an iced coffee? I think you need to take a deep breath and go out in the light for a bit.”

Rey gradually unfolded her legs and stood, glancing at herself in the dingy mirror. “Oh, God!” she exclaimed when she saw how puffy and blotchy her face was. “I look like a monster.”

“No!” Jessika protested, “You look like… Judy Garland after a bender!”

“I--what?” Rey sniffed, splashing her face with water. “What does that mean?”

“I don’t even know,” Jessika shrugged. “But Poe says that about people all the time, and Finn laughs like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard.”

* * *

On Sunday morning, Rey idled around camp under the pretense of walking. There was still no sign of Kylo. 

She slunk by the First Order cabin several times on her loop. The bass line of what sounded like foul rap music was blasting from inside the building, and she could hear Hux warbling atonally over the vocals. 

After her third trip past the building, she trudged up the steps hesitantly and peered inside the screen door, shielding her eyes from the sun. The music seemed to be more expletives than anything else, and she bit her lip to keep from laughing when her eyes adjusted and she could make out the scene inside.   

Hux stood with his back to her at an ironing board, clad only in pinstriped boxers, working over his stack of brightly-colored, embroidered Bahamas. He wore deck shoes with no socks, and he prissily ashed a cigarette into an empty coffee can on the counter beside him. His crimson mane stuck up at an awkward angle on one side, not yet smoothed into the careful, almost military, coif he donned in front of the parents and campers.

He took a deep drag on the cigarette and left it dangling between his lips as he changed the setting on the iron in preparation for a pair of purple shorts with lobsters. His head lolled from side-to-side as he wound up for the chorus, imitating the female singer’s nasal delivery in a thin falsetto. 

_ I can’t e’en lie _

_ Fuck betta when I’m drinkin’ _

_ Ride dick like a pro _

_ Throw da pussy like I’m famous _

_ Pussy feels so good  _

_ Feels like the rubber off ain’t it _

_ Y’ain’t gotta tell me- I know this pussy be yankin’ _

She had to cover her mouth with her hand as he bounced in an approximation of twerking in time to the song. Rey observed him without speaking for more than a minute before she cleared her throat to announce herself. 

He didn’t hear her at all over his singing and she finally clapped her hands slowly and called, “Bravo! Encore please!”

Hux whipped around and his hand shot to the stereo unit to lower the volume. He peered out at her, then sauntered slowly to the door and looked down his nose at her.

“Well, well,” his tone was haughty. “A Scavenger at the First Order’s door? Who’d have thought I’d see the day?”

Rey drew herself to her full height and crossed her arms in front of her. It was not the time to rise to Hux’s childish bait. “Hi, Hux. I was wondering if you’d seen Kylo around anywhere?”

Hux regarded her coolly, then a nasty smile broke out on his lips. “Well, well, well,” he drawled. “You know, I haven’t seen him since the beginning of last session.” 

Rey’s heart sank, and she let her gaze flick away for a second. “It’s just… we talked about maybe having some of his kids ride with my group, if they’re interested.”

“I’ve never known Kylo to be so interested in riding until this summer,” Hux sniffed. “He hates horses, but he’s been at the stable an awful lot, it seems.”

“Okay, well,” Rey trailed off. If Hux knew anything, he clearly wasn’t going to share it. “Thanks for that, I’ll see you at the lodge for orientation, I guess.”

She turned on her heel and was several strides out from the cabin when he called after her, “You know, I think I might have his number.”

She whirled back. “You do? Why? Our phones don’t even work out here.” 

Hux emerged from the cabin, and his skin was blindingly pale in the full sunlight. He pulled his phone from his pocket and thumbed idly through his contacts. “Our parents are friends, they insisted,” he rolled his eyes. “It’s not like we have anything in common or booty-call each other. The only time I see that weirdo is here at camp.” 

His hands were surprisingly warm as he grasped hers to write the digits on the back with what looked to be a blue erasable pen. The ink was warm and fluid in the heat, soaking in and bleeding slightly on her skin.

“Thank you,” she said earnestly, making sure to look him in the eye so he’d know she meant it. “And… Hux-- is that a family name, or…?”

“No, I was named for Aldous Huxley? Surely you’ve heard of him?”

“Oh,” she recognized the name. “ _ Brave New World _ , right?”

Hux winked. “That’s the one. Tell that loser he owes me one if you get ahold of him.” 

“Really, thank you!” Rey nodded once more in gratitude before turning and walk-running to the lounge. 

Inside, she cradled her phone with shaking hands as she input the lockcode and started a new message. She stared at the blank screen, her thumbs hovering over the keyboard. 

What should she write? She didn’t want to sound like a crazed one-night stand, even though she was starting to feel like one. 

She drafted several versions before she lit on one that sounded, she thought, both nonchalant and appropriately friendly. 

_ Hey K, it’s Rey. Hux gave me ur #. Didn’t c u around this wknd. Hope ur ok?  _

She hit send before she could overthink it again. 

She immediately heard someone’s message tone ping from inside the bank of lockers and her heart skipped a little.  _ It could be coincidence _ , she thought feverishly, but her gut was sinking as she typed further.

_ Hope i c u again b4 Sept. _ Send.

The message tone sounded again within seconds. 

She rose and crept near the bank of lockers, typing one final message that she knew was pushing it.

_ Had a rly good time with u _ .

Ping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :: headdesk, weeps::
> 
> Tell me [this pony doesn't remind you of BB-8](http://weneedfun.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Haflinger-Horse-71.jpg)! I dare you! 
> 
> Hux's song is [Yankin, by Lady](https://youtu.be/OvN9YwiveXc). Because of course he would listen to this. :D


	4. September

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG you guys... I am SO SORRY at how long it took me to get this written. Long story short, heavy-duty RL stuff got in the way A LOT. Hopefully you're still invested in seeing how this turns out! 
> 
> The English cliff horse that is mentioned in this chapter is the [Uffington White Horse](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uffington_White_Horse), although there are [other cliff horses](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hill_figure#Horse_figures) in western England as well.

Director Snoke intoned Camp Obikenobi’s rules with the seriousness of scripture for the seventh time. Their final group of campers were a slightly older bunch, mostly twelve-year olds, and some of them were already nearly as tall as Rey and taller than Jess. Rey could see them rolling their eyes at each other and suppressing giggles behind their hands as he spoke, as though they were too good to pay attention. She could feel a new layer of irritation building at them in her midsection, mingling uneasily with the empty ache she felt at Kylo’s disappearance.  

“It’s gotta be the hormones in milk, right?” Jess whispered to her as they watched the girls stash their belongings in the cabin before heading to the opening session. “They’re giants.” 

Rey sighed deeply and nodded in silent agreement. She wasn’t sure there were enough ponies physically large enough in the herd to fit them all. She considered uneasily that she might have to give BeBe to the tallest one, a whippet-thin young beauty with long, golden hair that hung nearly to her waist. She looked as though she might’ve been equally at home strutting on a catwalk as leaping off the dock into the lake holding her nose. 

After her attempt to contact him had fallen flat, Rey had sulked back to their cabin and lain on her bunk without speaking until Jess had roused her at 3:30 to collect their campers from the parking lot. 

“Bae,” Jessika had stroked her hair from her forehead. “I know you feel like you want to lay here forever, but we’ve gotta go get the kids. Last time, I promise.” She gave a falsely bright smile and a double-thumbs up that broke Rey’s heart even further. 

The walk to the main parking lot had felt like an eternity in the steamy, late afternoon heat. A thunderstorm had moved through in the time she had lain staring at the wall, and the sun now made it feel as though camp were in a tropical climate.

Rey felt like her smile didn’t reach her eyes as she shook hands with the nervous parents, listened to them admonish their sullen daughters to behave and take directions, and nodded absently through their instructions of what medicines and allergies and phobias each one had. She cast her eyes over the fray repeatedly, hoping against hope that she’d catch a glimpse of Kylo’s dark head over everyone else.

She didn’t.

Hux caught her looking and quirked a curious eyebrow at her. She shook her head slightly and pressed lips into a line. He merely shrugged in response, turning away to corral his new herd of boys with their backpacks. 

The final, abiding rule at Camp Obikenobi was to  _ have fun _ . 

Rey cradled her forehead in her hands with her elbows propped on her crossed knees as the elderly man’s exhortion hung over her. 

Had she been wrong to admit her feelings to him? She replayed their conversation on the deck of the cabin in an infinite loop, trying to discern a different meaning from him than the one she’d taken.

Each time, she came back to the same conclusion.  _ He _ had started it.  _ He _ wanted more.  _ He _ didn’t care that they were at different places in their lives, or lived in different parts of the country.     

Rey knew this, but couldn’t help but think perhaps he had come to his senses once they were separated. She imagined what his friends and family might say. 

_ You only just met her.  _

_ She’s how old? _

_ What do you even have in common? _

It was exactly the same sort of things she could imagine  _ her _ friends saying, once she arrived back at the safety of campus. Jessika had been too nice to let reality intrude on her happy bubble that had lasted the entire last session, but she suspected her friend was merely holding her tongue now that he had inexplicably disappeared. 

She was at a loss to explain it, but she had this feeling like she knew him, had always known him in some way. 

“You ready for ice-breakers?” Jess nudged her, breaking her reverie. The girls were all standing and stretching above them, sizing one another up like suspicious cats on new turf. 

Rey looked up. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

* * *

 

It didn’t take long for some sharp divisions to emerge in their new cabin. Their campers included a set of twins, Maddy and McKayla, and they each seemed determined to hate everything the other liked. 

McKayla was in Rey’s equestrian group, and Maddy took every opportunity to make fun of her sister’s hobby. 

“Good luck finding a boyfriend who’ll want those thunder thighs,” Maddy sneered as they dressed. “You’d better not wear my jeans and get them all stretched out.”

“I think your bun’s so tight you can’t think straight,” McKayla retorted, narrowing her eyes at her twin’s high, tight knot of hair that she wore proudly atop her crown.”Like I’d wear your trashy old jeans with the glitter-butt anyway, Miss Bridge-and-Tunnel.”

Jess sighed deeply and muttered under her breath, “I apologize on behalf of America.”

Rey laughed then, her smile cracking her cheeks in a way they hadn’t been in days, and Jess brightened considerably. 

McKayla quieted down once they split off down the dirt track towards the stable, but the tall, blonde girl-- Aeryn-- piped up instead with an unending, incomprehensible string of chatter about anything and everything. 

Rey tried to break it off several times and start quizzing the girls about their respective horse knowledge, but it always turned back to another topic of Aeryn’s choosing. The other girls seemed in awe of her, whether because she was taller, or slightly more mature, or because she wasn’t afraid to elaborate exactly how much money her family had. 

Usually by the time they reached the stable, Rey had a good idea of their skills: who’d ridden before, who hadn’t, who thought they knew everything, and who secretly did but was too shy to share.   

This group was still a blank slate when Rey stood on her straw bale above them and cleared her throat. 

“Alright,” she began, feeling like a broken record. “Which of you has ridden a horse or pony before?”

Their eyerolls were maddening as three-quarters of them raised their hands to shoulder height, as though they were embarrassed to be seen participating. 

“Like, duh?” A dark-haired girl named Leah shrugged at the back of the pack. “That’s why we’re here, because we ride.”

“Thank you, you can put your hands down,” Rey ignored her remark. She clasped her hands behind her back and tried to project authority onto them through her body language. “As some of you probably know, then,” she shot daggers at Leah until the girl looked down, “Ponies are a lot like people. Each one is different, has its own personality and moods, things that they like, or don’t like. It’s our job as riders, and as caretakers, to pay attention to their needs and wants before our own. Riding is a two-way street, okay? Ideally, you’ll begin to form a bond with your pony as they learn to trust you, but you have to earn that trust.” 

She hopped off the bale and strode towards the fenceline of the field where the ponies spent their nights. The herd was way out, but she spied BeBe looking curiously in their direction, a mouthful of grass still protruding from his blonde lips. She clambered up the fence and sat astride the top rail, the wood plank digging into her buttock as she shaded her eyes with her hand to get a better look at them.

It was time for the herd to come in for morning feed, and they began to stir and amble towards the group of girls hanging on the fence.

“Now, I want you to pay attention to how the herd moves,” Rey instructed them. 

The girls reluctantly propped their faces between the boards of the fence, peering at the herd as it moved slowly to them. BeBe nearly always started them moving, but then dropped back to his middle-back position in the herd as the dominant mares took over the lead. He was the biggest, but he was comfortable to let the others eat first and hang back.  

Rey kept an eye on the herd, but moreso, on her new charges. It was the quietest they’d been since arriving the day before. 

A quiet girl with curly, auburn hair spoke up. “It looks like there’s two herd leaders-- the two ponies in the front, then another one that’s the head of the second bunch.”

“Good, Rachel,” Rey nodded, and the girl ventured a small smile. 

“And... they’re not all ponies? Some of them look like Mustangs.”

Rey caught the sharp, withering looks some of the others threw her, but Rachel seemed not to notice. 

“That’s right, too. There’s two Mustangs in this herd, Dusty and Chance,” Rey praised her. “It’s important to know where your mount fits in the pecking order of the herd. They’ll be loyal to you, but instinct dictates a lot of how they act in the group. You have to be tuned into that to work successfully with them.”

“Look at the blonde one,” Aeryn was practically swooning, pointing out BeBe to Maddy. “He is so cute!”

Rey glanced at her and felt the strangest surge of protectiveness for BeBe. She decided in that instant that she couldn’t put him with this girl, even if meant giving her a mount so small her knees hung down past its belly. She was not getting BeBe.

* * *

 

After a full day of cloudless skies, Tuesday evening was unbearably hot. The air was completely still, and the girls were restless in their room. Jess got up once to shush them, then a second time with threats of being made to sit out of activities if they didn’t settle down. 

Rey drifted in and out of sleep, their barely-concealed whispers bringing her back to life. She felt irritable at their insolence, at the heat. 

The third time she awakened, she glanced at her watch. It was nearly eleven, and she threw back the covers with a vengeance to give them a piece of her mind. As she stood, she saw the silhouettes outside the cabin, just aways onto the lawn. 

She realized with a pinch in her stomach that it was Jessika, and Kylo. He stood with his hands on his hips and his head bowed, but she could see from Jessika’s body language that she was laying into him. It was her furious whispering that carried into the open door of the cabin.

Rey hid just inside the screen door, watching them cautiously. She heard the girls beginning to stir again, and their bare feet shuffling across the floor to the window. 

“Ooooohhhhhh, is that Miss Jessika’s boyfriend?” she recognized McKayla’s voice. 

“He would like her, tall guys love short girls!” Aeryn was at the window now. 

Rey stepped to the doorway of the campers’ bedroom and whispered as fiercely as she could, “Which of you would like to clean stalls all day tomorrow while everyone else rides? Hm?”

Their heads snapped back from the window and their feet barely touched the floor as they leapt from the braided rug to their bunks. They continued giggling maniacally and whispering as she turned back to the door. 

She hated herself, but her heart was fluttering at his arrival. She tried to remember how it had felt to lay awake for the last five nights wondering where he’d gone, what she might have done, but her breathing stuttered at the sight of him.

It was impossible to read his expression in the dark, but Jessika was turned towards her and looked to be softening. She glanced up towards the cabin and caught sight of Rey hovering there. She beckoned with her hand. 

_ Come out _ . 

Rey balked for a moment before Jessika waved her on again and watched as she came out and joined them on the lawn. Kylo turned then, and she met his eyes for a second before looking away. The dew wet her bare feet.

She pursed her lips at Kylo, unsure what to say. 

“I just got your texts,” he said lamely, holding up his phone.  

“What do you want?” she managed. “I’ve been going out of my mind.” 

“Rey,” he breathed. “My mom got sick and was hospitalized. They came and got me in the woods, and I was halfway back to the city before I realized I’d left my phone.”

Jessika moved towards the cabin, squeezing Rey’s elbow gently as she passed. 

She bowed her own chin to her chest now, trying to digest the information. 

He hadn’t just left. There had been an emergency. 

His mother. 

She was trying to picture what his mother looked like now, someone old enough to have a medical emergency. 

“I’m sorry, kid,” he tried. “I know how it probably seemed after… that weekend.” 

She shook her head. “No, I really don’t think you do.” 

“Look, can we just talk?” Kylo stepped closer to her. “Please?”

Rey hesitated, her arms crossed protectively over her middle. He stepped another half-stride closer and paused, like he was afraid of spooking her. She stood her ground and looked at him out of the tops of her eyes.  He stuffed his phone in the back pocket of his shorts and waited, his hands on his hips again. 

“Is your mom okay?” she whispered.  

Without another word, he scooped her up with his elbow behind her knees and his arm banded around her back. 

“Where are we going,” Rey murmured against his shoulder. Over his shoulder, she could see the light go on in the cabin and Jessika’s shadow inside the window.

“The infirmary,” he replied curtly. “It’s air conditioned and Dr. K went home hours ago.”

The smell of antiseptic mixed with alcohol and adhesive mingled sharply in her nostrils as he opened the door with his key and backed through the door. She had only been in the infirmary once, when one of her campers had fallen and scraped her hand badly enough to need irrigation and a bandage taped on it. Kylo didn’t bother with the lights now, placing her gently on the bed.

Rey turned on her side and rested her head on her elbow as he pulled the chair in the room next to her. She shivered slightly as her sweaty skin cooled in the chilly air issuing from the small vent. 

“My mom will be fine,” he finally answered her question. “Thanks for asking.”

Rey merely blinked in response as he slouched down and propped his feet up beside her on the bed. 

“What happened?” she asked. “If you want to tell me.”

“They think she had a… basically, a mini-stroke, and she got into a minor car accident because of it,” Kylo smiled unexpectedly. “I think she was more pissed about the car being wrecked than her health, honestly.”

“Is there someone to take care of her?” Rey was suddenly concerned for this woman she’d never met. She felt like she knew her from looking at the camp photos, like a long-lost cousin she hadn’t seen in years. Not that she knew what that was like.

“Not exactly, but you wouldn’t even know anything had happened if you talked to her now,” Kylo shrugged. “They kept her in the hospital for a few days for tests and observation, then I insisted on staying with her for a bit, but... there’s a reason we barely talk. She practically begged me to go back to work.” 

“I’m glad she’s alright,” Rey whispered. He acknowledged her with only a slow blink and a slight nod.

They were silent for what felt like an eternity before Rey finally said, “I really thought you’d left because of me.”

Kylo hung his head and looked at his hands, pressing his lips between his teeth as he heaved a couple deep sighs. “Rey, you have no idea,” he started with a shake of his head. “I was going out of my mind, wondering if I should just call someone here and have them tell you, but I didn’t want to get you in trouble. You’re new, and they can be kind of… stodgy about that stuff.” 

She nodded silently, then said, “You could’ve sent a letter.”   


“Yeah, I’m an idiot,” Kylo conceded readily. “I could’ve just sent a letter without a name on the return address. Although, I might’ve beaten it here anyway by the time I got a chance to send it.”

“That’s true.”

He cocked his head at her and tried a shy smile. “I hope you can forgive me. It sounded like you missed me, at least.” 

Rey eyed him without answering right away. She could feel the knot in her stomach unraveling, but wanted him to work for it. “Probably.” 

“Who gave you my number, anyway?”

Rey smiled at the memory. “Hux.”

“I hope he wasn’t gross about it,” Kylo wrinkled his nose. “I don’t understand how our parents are even friends.” 

“How did they meet?” Rey asked, genuinely curious.

“Oh, camp,” Kylo shrugged dismissively. “But our families are very different.”

Rey stared at the tile floor. It was a brown linoleum with flecks of green, orange, and a color somewhere between grey and cream. “Different how?” she asked.

Kylo stared up at the ceiling, shaking his head. “They were both old-money families, but Hux’s have stayed in that world, and my mom and uncle chose to divest,” he said simply. “They thought it wasn’t right to have inherited money from a father they never knew, that was earned on the backs of investments that could be considered… ethically suspect today.” 

“Is that why you don’t get along with your parents?” Rey asked. “You wish they’d kept the money?”

“No, absolutely not,” Kylo said quickly. “My folks had their own problems already, and I think I came along at just the time to magnify how wrong they really were for each other.”

Rey studied him. He was looking down at his broad hands. 

“Can I… “ he trailed off, shaking his head as though he thought better of what he wanted to say. 

Rey lifted her eyebrows expectantly. “I don’t know,  _ can _ you?” She mimicked the tone she recalled teachers taking to distinguish between  _ can _ and  _ want _ . 

Kylo smiled immediately, recognizing her reference. “Yes, Miss Rey,  _ may _ I hold you?”

She scooted backwards towards the wall to make room for him as he slipped his shoes off and folded his gangly frame gingerly beside her. The foam pillow was child-sized and well-used, so he curled one massive arm beneath his head as a cushion. She snuggled closer, enough that he could throw his free arm across her waist. 

The steady weight of his arm on her broke the dam inside her, and she leaned forward without warning to capture his lips in a chaste kiss. 

“Hi,” she whispered as she drew away. “I missed you.”

His eyes closed as he replied, “Same. So much.”

* * *

 

They were barely apart more than a few hours for the rest of camp. 

The end of summer was signaled in many ways, chiefly the slow slide of the temperature overnight into ranges that licked frost up the steamy glass of the bathroom in the cabin and turned the very tips of maple leaves from green to reds and oranges. 

The last round of campers were cheated a few swims in the lake, and the canoes were pushed up onto the rocky beach in preparation for winter storage in the boathouse.

Rey was startled to notice how BeBe’s coat was no longer completely silky, but sporting a few long, dull-looking winter hairs already. She combed her fingers through his tangled mane and braided his forelock loosely as she herded the girls on the last trail ride of the summer. 

They attended to their duties, but mostly, to each other. Rey had only to glance at him across the mess hall to feel her heartbeat throb between her legs in anticipation of another stolen kiss when they thought no one was looking, of another early-morning rendezvous in the bathhouse where she would let him kiss her senseless, a prickly tryst in the hayloft atop a scratchy wool blanket. 

With every encounter, Rey parted from him feeling like she was storing something up, and a wave of anxiety would overcome her to think of being thousands of miles from him. 

It wasn’t enough to stop her from meeting him again.  

“You?” Jess grinned. “Are  _ disgusting _ . I have never seen you glowing like this.”

A tiny bead of guilt plagued Rey as she checked her texts one night and found a few new ones from Finn. 

Wednesday: _ Hey gurl, miss ur face! _

Thursday: _ See u 2 soon! _

Friday:  _ We have lots 2 catch up on -- kawfee tawk on Tuesday? _

Rey hovered with her finger over the keypad, wondering how to delicately summarize the situation. She finally settled on a vague answer.

_ Yes we do! C U soon. Lots to report. XOXO. _

They spent the Friday afternoon after the campers left cleaning all the saddles and bridles, pausing only to flick soapy water at each other and to press hotly against the wall of the tack room. After the last one was hung up and covered for the winter, they went out to the pasture to visit Bebe. 

She threaded her fingers into his thick mane and he raised his head, obviously looking for a treat. A few of the others raised their heads when they heard the cellophane wrapper untwisting from the peppermint she had hidden in her jeans pocket. 

She scrubbed the smear of green saliva from Bebe’s lips on her already-filthy shirt and suppressed her smile at Kylo’s barely concealed disgust.  

BeBe shifted his weight between his back feet and nudged Kylo’s hand with his muzzle.

Kylo crossed his arms quickly in self-protection and scowled at the pony, who lowered his head nearly to the ground. A huff from his furry nostrils raised a small cloud of dust around Kylo’s shoes. 

“He likes you,” Rey said with a barely-concealed smile. “Why don’t you pet him?”

“I’ll pet a pony when you sleep in a tent again,” Kylo grumbled.

“What, are you afraid?” she asked. “He just wants a treat.” 

“Right, a flesh-flavored treat!”

“You’re afraid,” she said slowly, as though she’d lit on an undiscovered truth. 

“The only teeth I’ll allow on my skin are human ones,” he retorted. “Preferably yours.” 

Rey blushed and made herself busy neatening Bebe’s unruly mane. He was more openly suggestive to her, but the thought of it made her stomach flip-flop.

“Meet me tonight?” she asked without looking at him. “The lake?”

“Any night,” Kylo replied. “You know that.”

* * *

She put on the only dress she’d brought with to go meet him at the boathouse one last time. 

“Shameless!” Jess pronounced as Rey presented herself for a one-over. “I wish I had your legs.”

“It’s not too much?” Rey was genuinely concerned. 

Jess laughed. “You’re too much. Go already! I expect a full report, as usual.” 

Rey backed out the screendoor with a roll of her eyes, but she had to bite her lip to keep from grinning openly as she tripped down the path to the lake. 

They rowed silently to the middle of the lake, under the moonlight. It was quiet aside from the slight splash of the paddles against the water, and the occasional croak of a bullfrog from the cattails along the shoreline.

Kylo stopped paddling first, and the canoe drifted slowly to a stop. Rey secured her paddle in the oar lock and stood over him, bracing her hands against his shoulders as he too set aside his paddle. 

He looked up at her, and she brushed his hair back from the edge of his face. 

“Let me go down on you,” he said, cupping her behind in his warm hands. 

Rey closed her eyes and felt the heavy warmth beginning to prick between her legs. She hadn’t let him do this yet. She hadn’t let anyone. 

“Please,” Kylo murmured into her stomach. His hands trailed down the backs of her thighs and under the hem of her skirt, tickling the backs of her knees. She squirmed against him but could not deny the fluttering sensation that was rapidly enveloping her lower half. “Please?”

She drew back slightly and he raised his eyes once more. She traced the line of his eyebrows and cheekbones before she replied: “Yes.”

His smile struck her as wolfish as he reached under her dress and tugged her panties down her thighs. The cool night air caused her to shiver when it reached the heated, swollen flesh at the apex of her legs. 

“Lie down for me,” Kylo pushed her gently away and she tugged one of the life vests to the middle of the boat for a pillow. The orange nylon was stiff under her fingers and she settled back against the hull with it propped beneath her head. The metal beneath her was chilly, but she barely felt it as he knelt between her legs and pushed her skirt up around her waist. 

Rey closed her eyes once more as his thumbs traced upwards from her knees to the juncture of her thighs to her body, pressing her legs wider and leaving a burning trail behind. She felt equally as proud as embarrassed to think he wanted to look at her, to put his mouth on her  _ there _ . It felt much more private than doing the same to him. 

He settled between her legs and she started to feel his fingers brush the seam of her body. He chuckled quietly at her and she opened one eye to spy on him as he set about his work. 

To her surprise, he looked very relaxed, almost reverent as he continued stroking her with his fingertips. She could feel her arousal beginning to leak and make her slippery, and she half-expected him to back off and merely use his fingers. As it was, each movement of his hand was nearly painful against her swollen, prickling flesh. She felt overripe, like a fruit ready to split its skin.

Rey stared up at the stars and tried to relax into the feeling of his face so close to her. She braced one heel against the wooden seat of the canoe and held her breath as he finally bent to her, placing a delicate kiss on the small curl of hair in the top of her cleft. He kissed down, down her body until his mouth was hovering right over her entrance and he paused, thumbing her nether lips just open.

“Oh!” She exclaimed, clasping her hand over her open mouth.

His tongue, his wicked tongue, was darting between her slick folds. It felt obscene, this hot pressure of his mouth sliding back up to begin circling her clit. She gasped against her palm, whimpering at how unexpectedly good it felt. 

Rey tried to concentrate, to order the stars into individual constellations, but every stroke of his tongue caused her to blink and lose her place. She was rapidly becoming thick-lidded, and her eyes stubbornly refused to stay open as she breathed raggedly into her hand. His left hand played over her low stomach, tickling her belly button and tracing slow circles just above where he worshiped her with his mouth. His other fingers were playing at her entrance beneath his face, and she wondered if he might...? 

He raised his face to gaze up at her and caught her curious look as he placed his fingers in his mouth. His expression had darkened, and Rey shivered for the first time. He looked slightly predatory now, she thought.  

“Do I… uh, does it….” she stammered, “Taste alright?” 

He withdrew his fingers with a wet smack and ducked back between her legs before replying. 

“Mmmhmmmm,” he murmured against her, resuming his work. 

A nervous bead had begun to form in her middle, and she lolled her head back and forth against the hard foam of the life vest as he picked up where he left off. His fingers stroked the swollen lips of her cunt, and she shivered again in anticipation to think that he would not stop until he  made her come like this. 

A firm swipe of his tongue moved the stiff little swell of her clit and she moaned inadvertently, bucking up against his face. The hull of the boat scraped softly against the long, pliable stalks of the cattails where they had drifted closer to the edge of the lake, and a lone cloud drifted across the moon, shadowing them further. 

His fingers breached her then, and her face screwed up with the mounting, inevitable pleasure she had been circling for several minutes. She felt both too exposed and completely private, laying beneath him like this in a canoe under the heavens. His fingers were deft, alternating in a vulgar rhythm with his mouth, working her up to a peak she could not back away from. Even if she had not wanted to, she felt she  _ had _ to come, had to fall off the cliff he had been so eager to bring her to. In her mind’s eye she saw the white cliff horses high above the English countryside. She pictured him standing just behind her, glancing over her shoulder at him before taking a single, sickening step where she knew there was nothing below her.

Rey keened then, clutching spastically at the handle of the paddle above her and the material of her dress bunched at her hips as she shattered, let him break her into a million tiny glittering pieces. She may as well have been one of the stars, a smooth stone on the bottom of the lake, a single dry leaf falling to the floor of the woods. She was out of her body for a moment, looking down at them entwined in the boat on the water, then back in it, writhing as waves of relief and pleasure overtook her. He raised his head to watch her, but his fingers still curled insistently deep in her core, wringing her out and arching her back. 

She dared not look at him, and instead allowed her eyes to flutter closed as she chased the last, shuddering spasms of her climax. What she had been so afraid of, why she had been so reluctant to let someone make her feel this way, was a mystery to her now. 

He eased his hand from her once she finally stilled, and crawled gently up beside her to curl around her. She could feel his hard-on pressing into the curve of her rear when she snuggled back against him.

“Was that alright?” he murmured into her neck, his hand playing up her front to cup her breast. His thumb flicked over her pebbled nipple. 

Rey nodded thickly. “What about you?” 

His hand turned her cheek towards him to look over her shoulder at him, and she could see his need written plainly on his face. 

“You still…” he trailed off as though uncertain. “Want to fuck me?” 

She bit her lower lip in a half-hearted attempt to suppress the grin that twisted her lips at the thought. She felt greedy, but not at all sorry, when she replied, “Yes, please.”

* * *

 

Rey sorted through their mail that had accumulated over the summer months as she walked idly back to Meier Hall. Jessika had been airing her pile of winter sweaters when Rey had left, and their room smelled slightly like a wet dog. 

The usual tuition notices, magazines and a few pieces of junk mail had accumulated, and she flicked through these with mild disdain before she found an envelope without a return address. She stared at the even, block-printed address to her and she knew who had sent it even before she tore it open. Her stomach twisted a little as her eyes raced over the scant lines on a yellow post-it stuck to a few printed pages. 

_ Hey Scavenger,  _

_ NYC is nice in the fall. Come see me. _

_ XOXO, _

K.            


Rey picked up her pace as she scanned the following pages, mounting the two flights of stairs two at a time. 

Jess was lounging amongst her sweaters with a textbook when Rey burst through the door. 

“Oh hey,” her roommate said without looking up. “Did you get the mail?”

“I did,” Rey was breathless. “But… look at this.” She shoved the papers in front of Jess’s face, on top of the textbook. 

Jess scanned the printouts mildly before handing them back. “What about it?”

Rey sank onto her own bed and peered suspiciously at Jess. “A flight from Denver to New York? How did Kylo known my information to book a flight for me? This is over fall break.” 

Jessika merely raised one eyebrow without looking at her. “Gosh Rey, I don’t know. How on  _ earth _ could he have known that?”

Rey stared at her friend. 

Jessika finally put down her book and turned to her with a conspiratorial grin. “You didn’t really think I was going to let you lovebirds part without a plan to see each other again, did you?” 

A smile tugged at the corner of Rey’s mouth. They had talked about her coming out, but she had remained outwardly noncommittal, not wanting to appear too needy. She had refused his repeated offers to come visit her at school as well. He had driven them to the airport and was still staring after them when she glanced over her shoulder beyond security. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, a lump forming in her throat. “I owe you one.” 

She curled away from Jessika on her bed, cradling her phone as she texted Kylo. 

_ i got yr letter _ . 

A second later, her message tone sounded. She peeked with one eye at his reply. 

_ I hope it wasn’t too bold, but I had help ;) _

_ So i hear _ , she pecked out. 

_ I *know* this is too bold, but… _

She frowned slightly at this message when another appeared under it. 

_ I think I love you.  _

Rey held her breath as she paused for a second before typing. 

_ I know. And i think i love u 2 _ .

She placed the phone face down on her comforter and traced the line of the mortar between the cinderblocks under the layers of cream-colored paint. Her heart was racing to see if he’d reply. 

Ping. 

She peeked at the screen to see he had merely written:

_You’re over the line. :)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading once again! I loved writing this and seeing all your lovely comments along the way. :)


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